New Job Title Comic Strips - Page 12
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1000 Results for New Job Title
View 111 - 120 results for new job title comic strips. Discover the best "New Job Title" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 19,
2019
Wally Is New Pet Employee
Tags boss, business ethics, criticism, employees, managers & supervisors, office workers, work ethic
Transcript
Boss: I"m looking for a new pet employee. The ideal candidate would be a brown-nosing tattler with no ethical core. Wally: That sounds like a brilliant idea, even though Dilbert says you are a moron. Boss: You got the job.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday April 18,
2020
Great Job For Someone
Tags business, office workers, job, opening, private, office, opportunity, background, rid
Transcript
dilbert: i hear there's a great job opening in operations for someone with your background. big salary, private office. looks like a great opportunity for you. office worker: are you trying to get rid of me? dilbert: not in a way you are suppose to notice.
Friday June 18,
2021
Wally Helps The New Guy
Tags business, office workers, training, new, employment
Transcript
dilbert: wally, explain to the new guy what he needs to know about the project. wally: our pdr system is downstairs from the qrd data and the bmr, so don't order a gref or else the plr will get boodled. panel shows office building with man jumping out of window, voice: i quit
Tuesday March 29,
2011
Tags fake press relases, new green technology, scientist, 2040 power home, refrigerator door, science
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I'm writing fake press releases for imaginary new green energy technologies." Computer says, "Scientists say that by 2040 you will be able to power your entire home with the breeze from your refrigerator door." Dilbert says, "Now how will I know which green breakthroughs are real?" Dogbert says, "Seriously? You think there are real ones?"
Friday April 15,
2011
Tags big business, children drawing & painting, executives, chalky substance, layers of mangement, new layers, p, avp, director, doplphon, inanimate object
Transcript
CEO: I'm adding a few layers of management below me. The new layers are VP, AVP, Director, dolphin, inanimate object, and chalky substance. If you have any issue, I encourage you to talk to the chalky substance.
Wednesday May 04,
2011
Tags business ethics, saving & investment, intentional billing errors, honest mistakes, maintain bonuses, pipelien, new errors, pension algorythm, money
Transcript
Carol: Once again, our only profitable line of business is "intentional billing errors." It started as a series of honest mistakes. Now it's the only way we can maintain our bonuses. Boss: Do we have anything better in the pipeline? Carol: R&D is testing some new errors for our pension algorithm.
Sunday May 01,
2011
Tags boats, business ethics, new boat, engineers, skills, boss's boat, picture, nautical interests
Transcript
Boss: Who wants to see a picture of my new boat? Dilbert: That's a very good question. If we consider the fact that we work much harder than he does... Carol: And we have valuable engineering skills, whereas he can't operate the GPS in his SUV... and for some reason we don't get paid enough to buy impressive boats. Dilbert: And we have no nautical interests whatsoever. I think your best bet is people who don't know you. Man: And you are? Boss: This only works if we don't get too familiar.
Wednesday May 11,
2011
Tags computer software, internet & world wide web, coding, paywall, website, wrote script, new content, idea to eliminate, revenue, lowered costs, technology
Transcript
Boss: Wally, did you finish coding the paywall for our website? Wally: I did something better. I wrote a script to delete any new content as soon as it's posted. At bonus time, keep in mind that you're the one who had the idea to eliminate revenue, and I'm the one who lowered hosting costs.
Saturday January 01,
2011
Tags new year resolutions, dvr, geeky science shows, snore, asthmatic cow, impose resolutions, habit chnagers, behavior requests
Transcript
Dogbert: I made a list of demands for you new year's resolutions. Dilbert: Thous salt not fill up the DVR with geeky science shows. ....Thou shalt not snore like an asthmatic cow.... I didn't know other people could impose resolutions on me, Dogbert: Its a new thing.
Wednesday January 19,
2011
Tags annoyance, interviews, wages, interviewing, salary range, reveal nature of job, current salary, interviewing me, evil or inconsiderate, current job, test the commute, money
Transcript
Man says, "Thanks for spending the day itnerviewing with us. I can now reveal the vature of the job and the salary range." Dilbert says, "You know my current salary and yet you wasted my entire day interviewing me for a job that pays less. You are either evil or inconsiderate." Man says, "So... not as good as your current job?" Dilbert says, "It's a tie. I'll need to test the commute one more time."