System Comic Strips - Page 12

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237 Results for System

View 111 - 120 results for system comic strips. Discover the best "System" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Will Work When He Is Dead

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Wally Will Work When He Is Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #death, #strategy, #work ethic, #work, #philosophy, #perfect system, #medical

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Coworker: I noticed you don't do much work. Wally: My philosophy is that there will be plenty of time to work when I'm dead. Coworker: But you won't be here to do it. Wally: I guess you don't know what a perfect system looks like.

Dogbert Makes A Product That Begs For Updates

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Dogbert Makes A Product That Begs For Updates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #product design, #product designer, #cruelty, #update, #computer, #reboot, #operating system, #torture, #technology

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Dogbert The Product Designer. Dogbert: I created an operating system that uses up 80% of your time begging for updates. That still leaves a healthy 20% of your time to... reboot your computer over and over. Boss: Can it fax?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2016's comic on:


Tags #justice, #trial, #jury duty, #laziness, #lazy, #juror, #legal system

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Wally: I got called for jury duty. I'll probably be gone for weeks. I think I would be a good juror. As I understand the job, you sit in a chair doing nothing for hours. Boss: You're supposed to pay attention to the trial. Wally: That's what the other eleven people are for. There's a lot of redundancy in the system. Time to serve up some justice.

Boss Figures Out A System

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Boss Figures Out A System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #management, #managing, #problems, #work, #workload, #solution, #problem-solving

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Dilbert: I'm bored. Boss: Here's some more work. Alice: I'm overwhelmed with work. Boss: Here's some more work. Boss: Managing was hard until I figured out a system.

Drone Defense System

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Drone Defense System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2016's comic on:


Tags #drone, #help, #rescue, #inept, #failure, #technology

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Dilbert: The government asked us to design a system to stop drone attacks on the homeland. The future of civilization is in our hands. Wally: I'm gonna miss civilization.

Problem With The System

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Problem With The System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2016's comic on:


Tags #fired, #bottom, #firing, #termination, #layoff, #hierarchy, #logic, #illogical, #executives

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Boss: Company policy says I have to fire the bottom ten percent of performers, so... you're fired. Dilbert: I thought I was near the top. Boss: That was before I fired everyone below you. Dilbert: Can you see any problem with your system? Boss: Yes, it's exhausting.

Who Wants The Legacy System Job

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Who Wants The Legacy System Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #legacy, #underachiever, #volunteer

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Boss: I'm assigning our best and brightest engineers to the new system integration team. Anyone who is left over gets to be in charge of watching our legacy system slowly rot. Dilbert: Who would want that job? Wally: Me!!! Pick me!!!

Add Feature To Legacy System

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Add Feature To Legacy System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #legacy, #development, #change, #obstinacy, #engineers, #stalemate

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Man: Wally, I need you to add a feature to the legacy system while we wait for the new software to go live. Wally: My job is to prevent people such as you from adding features to our legacy system. Man: But it's my job to make you do it. Wally: One of us has a terrible job.

Alice And The Legacy System

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Alice And The Legacy System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #dedication, #work ethic, #boredom, #overwork, #time

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Alice: Does it bother you to work on the old legacy system when the rest of us are doing exciting new things? Wally: I leave work at 4 p.m. every day. Wally: How about you? Alice: Squatters keep moving into my house.

Wally Is Born For The Job

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Wally Is Born For The Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #legacy, #system, #laziness, #perfect job, #goals, #ambition

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Boss: I need to set some goals for you. Wally: My job is to maintain the legacy system. My only goal is to avoid accidentally upgrading it. Boss: And how's that going? Wally: I don't like to brag, but I was born for this job.