With Draw Money Comic Strips - Page 12
1000 Results for With Draw Money
View 111 - 120 results for with draw money comic strips. Discover the best "With Draw Money" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share June 17, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert sits at a desk counting bags of money and humming. Dilbert says, "A news crew is here to investigate your television healing scam." Dogbert sits in a chair across from a reporter and a tv camera. The reporter says, "Explain to our 40 million viewers where the money actually goes." Dogbert replies, "Send those checks to Dogbert, post office box . . ." The reporter thinks, "Maybe I phrased that wrong."
Share June 24, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert says to a classroom full of people at desks, "Welcome to Dogbert's School of Common Sense." Dogbert continues, "I've asked you to pay tuition in advance; that way if you're unsatisfied with the school, you'll have the added negotiation leverage of having already paid." As the students hand Dogbert money he says, "And thanks, Alice, for asking if tipping is customary."
Share July 08, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert and the financial advisor sit at the table. The advisor says, "For the timid investor, I recommend our 'Perpetual Certificates of Deposit.'" The man continues, "They earn the highest possible interest. The only trade-off is that you can never withdraw it." Dilbert asks, "Why don't I just fling my money out a window?" The advisor replies, "Ah, you've heard of our 'Flying Debenture' product?"
Share July 09, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert and the financial advisor sit at the table. The advisor says as Dilbert reads a brochure, "That's our new 'Strategic Diversification Fund.'" The man continues, "Our lawyers put your money in little bags, then we have trained dogs bury them around town." Dilbert asks, "Do they bury the bags or the lawyers?" The advisor replies, "We've tried it both ways."
Share July 10, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I invested all of my money in stock options." Dogbert asks, "What's an option?" Dilbert explains, "It's complicated . . . Basically, you give your money to a stock broker and he buys nice things for his family." Dilbert asks, "Do you have any snide comments?" Dogbert replies, "No, you took all the fun out of it."
Share July 11, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "Am I wrong or did you tell me you invested all of your money in stock options for a company called Zymed?" Dogbert continues, "The radio says the stock price tripled on takeover rumors. You just made about ten million dollars." Dogbert continues, "But they say money can't buy happiness." Dilbert replies, "Apparently 'they' are idiots."
Share August 08, 1992's comic on:
A newsreporter stands on the lawn in front of Dilbert's house. She says, "People have traveled from all over to see the miracle of the peanut butter." Behind the reporter, people with outstretched arms walk toward the house. Dogbert stands on top of the refrigerator collecting money. Dogbert says, "Step right up . . . Just ten bucks to see the face of Saint Ted appearing in my jar of peanut butter." A man opens the fridge and says, "Ooh! And I see Elvis in the Jello!" Another man says, "Only the King moves like that!"
Share October 05, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert sits on a chair and Dilbert lies on a couch. Dogbert says, "You are in a deep sleep . . . Now, while under hypnosis you can draw the aliens who abducted you." Dogbert whispers, "Hint: they all look exactly like 'E.T.'" No longer hypnotized, Dilbert looks at a drawing and says, "Wow! I drew that??" Dogbert says, "They usually come back for you. Better keep a bag packed."
Share March 20, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert stands at the checkout counter. The clerk at the cash register says, "That's $1.89." Dilbert hands him money and says, "Just for simplicity, I'll give you $7.14." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "As an engineer, I feel a professional reponsibility to make things easy for people." The cashier looks confused as he thinks, ". . . Carry the three."
Share April 26, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "I need to work on something big so I can justify my existence here." Dilbert thinks, "But not something important, because that would draw attention to me at a time of staff cuts." Dilbert thinks, "What can I do that costs a lot but nobody wants?" The Boss walks by thinking, "'Empowerment' sure made them quiet."