2005 Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stress hump, no asignment, no compeer no freinds, resist, the hump

View Transcript

Transcript

The New Employee "No assignment...no computer...no friends to talk to..." "It's just me and this huge stress hump." "Wazzup?" "Must...resist...urge...to name the hump...and talk to it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags associate with, cjhose, associate, lazy people, new guy

View Transcript

Transcript

The New Employee "Maybe if I make a friend at work it will reduce my stress hump." "I must choose carefully because I will be judged by the people I associate with." "Hi. I'm the new guy." "The lazy people have found each other."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new guy, strong culture, doing teask, unimaginable, getting suckers, to do our work

View Transcript

Transcript

The New Guy" "We have a strong culture of team--work here." "While you're doing those easy tasks, I'll be off doing assignments of unimaginable diffuculty." Dilbert: "Did anyone warn you that we have a strong culture of getting suckers to do our work?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new guy, punch back, stress hump, karate chop

View Transcript

Transcript

The New Guy "Hey, new guy, that's quite a stress hump you have there maybe I can fix it." "Punch Yaaa!!" "Wow!! It's gone! Does that always work?" "I dunno. To be honest, I just wanted to punch it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stress hump, goes away, all in mind

View Transcript

Transcript

Could I have a few days off to see if my stress hump goes away? The boss: "Stress is all in your mind. I should fire you and your hump right now for even asking!" Dilbert: "Just because he said no?" new guy: "It was the way he said it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags practical vehicle, environement, 40 tons, owls for fuel

View Transcript

Transcript

SALE The boss: "I'm looking for a practical vehicle that's also good for the environment." "I recommend the envirocrusher-4. It weights 40 tons and it uses owls for fuel." The Boss: "Where I would I get that many owls?" "The engine noise stuns them. You just them up off the ground."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert.com, owls for fuel, new suv, good idea, start breeding owls

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: My new SUV uses owls for fuel. It seemed like a good idea but now I can't find enough owls. Carol: "You'll have to start your own owls." The boss: "That's what I figured." The Hilarious conclusion to this comic has been deemed offensive, If you must know how it ends, go to dilbert.com

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accounting depot, travlke expeses, copies of receipts, need originals

View Transcript

Transcript

The Accounting Department "I can't process your travel expenses because you sent me copies of receipt. I need the originals." "I'm busy. Just fax them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags no budeget, give raisem, business trip las vegas, four million, bathrub, flooded five floors, bartenders

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Don't blame me, but there's no budget to give you a raise this year." Alice: "Why not?" The boss: "My business trip to Las Vegas cost four million dollars because I passed out in the bathtub with the water running and flooded five floors." The boss; "The bartenders there are totally irresponsible."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags important, month to fisnish, last minute, unreasonable deadline, freaky part

View Transcript

Transcript

"Asok, this is important but you have month to finish it." Asok: "I'll start right away." Wally: "It's smarter to wait until the last minute and then make a big show of how harding you're woring to meet the unreasonable deadline." Asok: "You said that right in front of him." Wally: "It's still work that's the freaky part"