2020 Comic Strips - Page 12
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Character
Saturday April 18,
2020
Great Job For Someone
Tags business, office workers, job, opening, private, office, opportunity, background, rid
Transcript
dilbert: i hear there's a great job opening in operations for someone with your background. big salary, private office. looks like a great opportunity for you. office worker: are you trying to get rid of me? dilbert: not in a way you are suppose to notice.
Sunday May 03,
2020
Dilbert Hates Safety
Tags business, safety, anger, yelling, statistics, flaw, authority, health
Transcript
dilbert: your method of calculating the safety statistics is flawed. monkey man: wow. wait until i tell everyone you don't think safety matters. dilbert: i...didn't say that. i'm talking about the way you measured it. monkey man yelling: it's too late to walk it back now! dilbert: i'm not "walking it back." i'm clarifying. monkey man: there's nothing to clarify, you hate safety. dilbert yelling and waving arms: stop putting words in my mouth!! i'm a better authority on what i think than you are!!! boss in hallway: what was all that yelling about? monkey man: dilbert thinks safety doesn't matter.
Monday April 20,
2020
No Handshaking
Tuesday April 21,
2020
Coronavirus
Tags 24 hours, business, coronavirus, health, home, remote, tragic, work from home
Transcript
dilbert: i'm working at home to avoid the coronavirus. i'll have to stay here 24 hours a day. dogbert: that's tragic. dilbert: i don't mind. dogbert: i meant tragic for me.
Wednesday April 22,
2020
Stress Can Kill You
Tags business, coronavirus, cortisol, dead man walking, depress, fear, immune, increase, scared, social distancing, system, virus, health
Transcript
dogbert: you have nothing to fear from the coronavirus but fear itself. obviously, the fear will increase your cortisol levels and depress your immune system so the virus can finish you off. dilbert visually shaken: now i'm scared. dogbert pointing: dead man walking!
Thursday April 23,
2020
Working At Home
Tags accomplished, business, fort, goof, health, home, version, working, coronavirus
Transcript
day one of working from home dilbert thinking: i'm getting a lot done. day two of working from home dilbert thinking laying on the couch: if i goofed off a little, would anyone know? day three of working from home dogbert: lame fort. dilbert under fort made from couch cushions and blanket: it's version 1.0.
Friday April 24,
2020
Dogbert Hovers
Tags business, working from home, annoy, work, hear, footsteps, hoover, health, coronavirus, excuse, living
Transcript
dilbert: i can't get any work done at home because i keep hearing your footsteps all day! dogbert: excuse me for living. i'll try hovering from now on. dilbert: can you do that? dogbert hovering: there's a lot you don't know about me.
Saturday April 25,
2020
Social Distancing
Tags business, eighties, health, hug, managers & supervisors, practice, social distancing, virus, coronavirus
Transcript
boss with face mask: wally, i need you to practice "social distancing" until the virus risk has passed. wally: i already do that. i haven't hugged anyone since the eighties. boss: good job. high-five. wally: back off.
Sunday May 10,
2020
Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support
Tags business, technology, train, tech support, problem, reboot, computer, problem solving, genius
Transcript
boss: dogbert, i need you to train asok to fill in for you on tech support. dogbert to asok: the goal of tech support is to convince the caller the problem is on their end. i do this by recommending increasingly difficult things for them to try. eventually they give up, watch and learn. dogbert on call: uh-huh... uh-huh... try rebooting your computer. now try it again while holding control -escape-space bar- delete for exactly 27.3 seconds. no luck? try looking at your computer's binary code to find any zeros and ones that are out of order. click dogbert: and he's gone. asok: genius!
Monday April 27,
2020
Human Walking This Way
Tags coronavirus, exercise, fish, health, human, social distancing, walking, water
Transcript
dilbert walking outside thinking: uh-oh. a human being is walking in my direction. dilbert jumping over wall into river: aaaagh!!! fish in water by dilbert: i need to ask you to back up six feet.


