3 Months Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

217 Results for 3 Months

View 111 - 120 results for 3 months comic strips. Discover the best "3 Months" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, are you sure you should eat that burrito? You do not have ISO 9004-3 certification." "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" "It is entirely possible that I have been working here for too long."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"You've had fifteen jobs in two months. How can I be sure you're not a job hopper?" "Maybe I change jobs a lot. And maybe I have gigantic rabbit ears. But does that make me a hopper?" "Okay, okay, you're hired." "I am so sick of this place!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

What are you going to wear to Ted's wedding? "Whatever comes up in the rotation." "Then she shrieked some nonsense about spending six months shopping for shoes and started to punch me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, you did the work of three people this year and earned the highest raise in the department!" "3%" FOOM! "What made you all cumulo-nimbus?" "3%"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Today I will teach you how to use your incompetence to achieve your goals." "Step 1: Be incompetent. (Also known as 'the easy part.')" "Step 2: Volunteer for the most difficult and important projects" "Step 3: Convince your boss that an enemy within the company is slowing you down." "Step 4: Insist that competent people be pulled off of other projects to help you." "Step 5: Declare yourself the leader of the competent people" "Step 6: Claim credit for the work of the competent people." "Step 7: After you get promoted, fire the competent people to eliminate witnesses."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I've been trying for six months to solve this engineering problem. It might be impossible. "Just turn it sideways and it will fit perfectly." "Okay...Now I have to kill you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Today the company restated its earnings from 'a few frillion' to 'a loss of 1.3 billion'. "This would be humiliating if I had any friends." "Your strategy of being unattractive is paying off." "I'm ugly like a fox."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"...And I work there as an engineer." "Go away. I lost $3,000 when your company restated its earnings." "Tonight I was rejected for corporate malfeasance." "I'll add it to the list."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Don't feel bad if you only got a 3% raise; I only got 2% myself. "Can we feel bad that 2% of your pay is bigger than 3% of our pay?" "Don't get all mathy on me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management software, #track 3, #least valuable asset, #noise cancellation, #headphones

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, I bought Dogbert's Management Software to yell at you so I don't have to." "I recommend Track 3, titled 'You're my least valuable asset'." Dogbert: Who wants to buy Dogbert's noise cancellation headphones for bad employees?" "I need you less than my mousepad."