Analyze Incoming Email Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

234 Results for Analyze Incoming Email

View 111 - 120 results for analyze incoming email comic strips. Discover the best "Analyze Incoming Email" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #face on cows butt, #morale, #objects, #off color jokes, #photoshopped

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Alice, you've ben accused of forwarding off-color jokes by e-mail." The Boss: "Do you object to the increase in morale or the nickel it cost the company so far?" "I object to my face being photoshopped to a cow's butt." Alice: "You object to art?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #off color email, #75 poeple, #thought funny, #one compalined, #punished, #sensible, #punish complainer

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: "I understand that you forwarded an off-color e-mail to many people." "Seventy-Five people thought it was funny but one person complained, so you must be punished." "Wouldn't it make more sense to punish the freak who complained?" "Do I look sensible?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #submit, #resume, #misguided optimism, #human will see resume, #email parents

View Transcript

Transcript

Click Submit" to post your resume on the jobs web site." "Now sit back and enjoy the misguided optimism that someday a human being will see it." "Be sure to tell your parents that you looked for a job today." "I'll e-mail them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #inconvenienced, #philosophy, #character flaw

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, did you review the spreadsheet that I emailed?" "I didn't want to be inconvenienced." "My philosophy is that anything worth doing is too hard." "A character flaw isn't a philosophy." "I like to combine things."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #weekly wally report, #worthless iput, #harmful advice, #ignored email, #priorities, #my budget estimates, #any success, #format

View Transcript

Transcript

"The Weekly Wally Report is bristling with tales of success." "I gave worthless input to marketing because they weren't specific about what they wanted." "I missed Alice's project meeting because she never confirmed the location." "I gave harmful advice to the sales team because they rushed me." "I ignored my email for a week because you said to focus on priorities." "And I didn't submit my budget estimates because Asok never told me what format to ues." "How can you call any of that success??!!" "Well, I'd compare it to my written objectives, but you never gave me any."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #receptionist, #director of first impressions, #send email.anger, #upsat, #realization

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Im starting to think that the director of first impressions is.... GAAA!!! IM A RECEPTIONIST!! Beat it, you walrus! Maybe I'll just send an email.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #addicted to email, #endorphins spike, #loneliness and despair, #email to self

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm addicted to e-mail. My endorphins spike when I get a message." "When there are no messages, loneliness and despair overcome me." "Have you tried sending e-mail to yourself?" "We don't talk about that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #court ordered, #email records, #deleted, #system mainentance, #wink wink, #flirting, #in on it, #scam

View Transcript

Transcript

Company Lawyer "The court ordered us to turn over all of our e-mail records." "Gosh, I sure hope they don't get deleted during regularly scheduled system maintenance." "Oh no. That would be bad! Wink! Wink!" "Good grief, man! How can you be flirting at a time like this?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #delete incriminating email, #witness to crime, #no good plan

View Transcript

Transcript

I need you to delete all of our incriminating e-mails before the court sees them. "That plan is no good because I'd be a witness to the crime...unless you had me killed." "Phase Two is none of your concern." "It has a phase???"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suggestions, #audience, #readers, #resist perl pressure, #unfunny comic, #connect to network, #email, #note from author

View Transcript

Transcript

Note from the author "Approximately one gazillion people have suggested I draw a comic based on the following idea." "As you will see, this idea is not funny. But I give it to you anyway because I can't resist peer pressure." Unfunny Comic If you can't connect to the network, send a trouble report by e-mail. "Happy?"