Co Author Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

296 Results for Co Author

View 111 - 120 results for co author comic strips. Discover the best "Co Author" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bv day, #boss vacation, #pretend working, #all day with binder

View Transcript

Transcript

Consulting his planner, Wally tells a co-worker: "I can't meet next Tuesday because that's a B.V. day." The co-worker asks: "B.V.?" Wally explains: "Boss Vacation. I don't need to pretend I'm working that day." Consulting his planner again, Wally continues: "And on Wednesday I'll be walking around all day with a binder."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cancel others, #crazy ideas, #one you of ten, #research projects, #research and development

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to the Boss: "One out of ten research and development projects will succeed." He continues: "I recommend cancelling the other nine." Sitting at lunch with his co-workers, Wally says: "I wonder where he gets all these crazy ideas."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company saidst, #fist of death, #note from author, #big bag, #dumpster, #disclaimer, #nothing bad happened

View Transcript

Transcript

Extremely angry, Alice approaches the sadist who sits at his computer. She rolls up her sleeves and says, "Okay,sadist, it's time to meet the fist of death. A note from the author forewarns his readers that nothing bad or violent happens to the sadist. The author's note reads: If you are the sort of person who is influenced by comic strips, I assure you nothing bad or violent happens next. Alice and the sadist discuss their differences and become lifelong friends. As Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit together eating lunch, Dilbert asks Alice "What was in that big bag I helped you drag to the dumpster?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ahead of schedule, #calendar, #eight revision, #original schedule, #meeting, #co workers, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says to Wally and Dilbert, "And we finished ahead of schedule." Dilbert replies, "Question." Dilbert asks Tina with arms in the air, "Are you referring to the original schedule or the eighth revision?" Tina responds defensively, "Schedules can change." Dilbert replies, "That would be called a calendar."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #beatings, #coworkers, #improve moral, #performance review, #team player, #beatings deserved

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice is sitting in front of the bosses desk. The boss says, "Lastly, what have you done to improve the morale of your co-workers?" Alice says, "I didn't give them the beatings they so richly deserved." The boss, writing, says, "I'll shorten that to 'team player'?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flex time, #5 hours in morning, #break for then hrs, #5 hours later, #filthy cubicle, #downside, #plan, #staff meeting, #cherish, #clever schemes, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to The Boss, "I'd like to work flex time." Wally says, "I'll work for five hours before anyone else gets to the office..." Wally says to The Boss, "Then I'll take a break for ten hours..." Wally says, "Then I'll work five more hours after the witnesses... er... co-workers go home." Wally says, "You'll know I'm working hard because my cubicle will be filthy." Wally says, "But I have to be perfectly honest: There's a down side to this plan." Wally says to The Boss, "I would miss your staff meetings that I cherish so much." Wally says to Dilbert, "I'm having trouble keeping my clever schemes separate from my sarcasm."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cross charge time, #attended meeting, #drunken moneky, #refund, #money back, #unfair preactices

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a co-worker, "Why did you cross-charge your time to my budget?" The co-worker says, "I attended your meeting." Dilbert says to the co-worker, "All you did was sit there like a drunken monkey. I want a refund." The co-worker says, "Talk to my boss." Dilbert says to the woman who is his co-worker's boss, "... So it doesn't seem fair." The woman looks at her watch and says, "Ka-ching!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #questions, #ever alone, #with people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, pointing to a diagram, asks, "Are there any questions?" Three co-workers sit at a table looking stupefied. There is a paper airplane and a cup that's been knocked over spilling some liquid on the table. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Do you ever feel alone when you're with people?" Dogbert, reading and not looking up, says, "I try to."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #more email, #storage space, #all files, #complain, #ignore requests, #your only choices, #please veryone

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a co-worker, "I asked for more e-mail storage space and you deleted all of my files!" The co-worker says to Dilbert, "You complain when I ignore your requests and you complain when I delete your files." Dilbert cries, "Those aren't your only choices!!" The co-worker says, "I can't please everyone."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advice?, #collect crcystals, #ctcystals can heal, #scientific evidence, #point of view, #ignorant, #dinner date, #spoiled

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Catbert, "Any advice?" Catbert says, "Try to be less like you." Dilbert, carrying a bunch of flowers, thinks, "That might work." Dilbert hands the flowers to a female co-worker and thinks, "Less like me... Less like me." The female co-worker says to Dilbert, "I collect crystals." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." The female co-worker says, "I don't know of any scientific evidence that they can heal." Dilbert thinks, "Whew." The female co-worker says to Dilbert, "But it's my point of view that they do." Dilbert says to the female co-worker, "When did ignorance become a point of view?" Seated in a restaurant reading a menu, Dilbert sits across from the frowning female co-worker and thinks, "Too much like me."