Cubicle Comic Strips - Page 12
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535 Results for Cubicle
View 111 - 120 results for cubicle comic strips. Discover the best "Cubicle" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 20,
1996
Tags dances, dancing dogs, go wild, healed, healthy, invoice, poems, primal screams, tech me, total well being
Transcript
Dogbert, who is wearing a wizard's hat, stands on the desk in Alice's cubicle. Dogbert asks, "Have my poems and dances healed your soul yet, Alice? The company cares about your total well being." Alice says, "Excuse me." Alice leans over the cubicle wall and shouts at the Boss, "We want more MONEY, not more dancing dogs!!! M-O-N-E-Y!! The Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "So you're saying those primal screams are healthy? Can you teach me to do it?" Dogbert says, "Here's my invoice - go wild."
Sunday May 05,
1996
Tags square pattern, move cubicle, random pattern symetry, waste of time, 5 people, downsized, formed pentagon
Transcript
The Boss tells Dilbert, "I need to move you one cubicle down." Dilbert asks, "Why?" The Boss replies, "That way my people will still be in a square pattern." The Boss explains, "You're in a random pattern now. The symmetry is bad." Dilbert says, "You want me to waste two days of work to move . . ." Dilbert continues, "I'll have no phone and no network connection for a week . . ." Dilbert continues, "I'll have to order new business cards and update my cubicle address on dozens of records." Dilbert continues, "And you still won't have a SQUARE because there are FIVE of us." A man stands in the door of Dilbert's cubicle holding a box. He tells Dilbert, "I got downsized. Apparently somebody complained that I formed a pentagon." Dilbert replies, "That can happen."
Wednesday May 22,
1996
Tags unsightly stacks, papers, violation, clean desk, policy, ergonomics, situation
Transcript
The Boss stands at the door of Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, these unsightly stacks of papers are a violation of my 'clean desk' policy." Alice dumps the stack of papers over the wall into Wally's cubicle. The Boss stands at the door of Wally's cubicle. Wally is sitting upside down under a pile of paper. The Boss says, ". . . And don't even get me started about the ergonomics of THIS situation."
Thursday May 30,
1996
Tags alternatives, analysis, coworker not boss, information, urgent need, analysis of alternatives, science
Transcript
A man enters Dilbert's cubicle, hands him a document and says, "I need this information today. Plus a complete analysis of the alternatives." Dilbert crinkles the paper and stuffs it in the wastebasket. The man says, "That wasn't nice." Dilbert responds, "In today's lesson, you learn that you're my co-worker, not my boss."
Friday May 31,
1996
Tags need input, end of day, drop request here, perpeytaul ignorance, touch stuff
Transcript
A man enters Wally's cubicle, hands him a document and says, "Wally, I need your input on this by the end of the day." Wally points to a stack of paper and says, "Please drop your request here, in 'Wally's Pile of Perpetual Ignorance.'" The man asks, "Can't I just give it to you?" Wally replies, "I don't like to touch that stuff with my hands."
Friday June 07,
1996
Tags filbert's mother, all you can eat, mall, got a booth
Transcript
Dilbert's mother sits in a chair and says into the phone, "Dilbert, I found your father. He's been at the 'all you can eat' restaurant in the mall since 1989." Dilbert sits in his cubicle and says into the phone, "He's so literal - he didn't want to leave until it was 'all he could eat.'" Dilbert asks, "When's he coming home?" Dilbert's mother answers, "I'm thinking of joining him. He got a booth."
Friday June 14,
1996
Tags company, compensate, healing begin, insane, working smarter, woefully understaffed, not working harder, business
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally walk down the hall together. Wally says, "This company makes perfect sense, now that I'm insane." Wally continues, "For example, it might seem as though we're woefully understaffed, but I can compensate by working smarter not harder." Wally walks into Dilbert's cubicle in his underwear with a box on his head and a monitor strapped to his chest. Wally says, "Hey, if I'm capable of working smarter, then why do I work HERE?" Dilbert thinks, "The healing has begun."
Sunday June 23,
1996
Tags mentor, automentor, job staidsfaction, massage, accomplishments, new job, resume stain, hopeless ness
Transcript
Dilbert tells Asok, "I won't always be around to be your mentor, Asok." Dilbert hands Asok a diskette and says, "So I've captured all of my career wisdom in this software, which I call the 'Automentor.'" Dilbert sits at his computer and asks, "Automentor, how can I achieve job satisfaction?" The computer replies, "Try giving yourself a massage in your cubicle." Asok asks, "Automentor, how can I make sure my accomplishments get noticed?" A picture of Dilbert is on the screen. The software replies, "That's not a problem at this company; nobody accomplishes anything." Asok asks, "Should I look for a new job?" The software replies, "Too late. They don't call this place the 'resume stain' for nothing." Asok stands behind Dilbert and asks, "How do you handle all the hopelessness?" Dilbert hums and replies, "I give it to the new guy."
Monday June 24,
1996
Tags new objectoves, achievable, objectives approved, measurable
Transcript
Alice hands the Boss a document and says, "Here's a draft of my new objectives. I tried to make them achievable." The Boss reads, "No matter how stupid my co-workers are, I will not punch a hole in anyone's torso, rip out a vital organ and keep it in my cubicle as a warning to others." Outside the Boss's office, Wally says to Dilbert, "I hope she gets those objectives approved." Inside the office, Alice yells, "Yes! It's measurable!"
Tuesday June 25,
1996
Tags sit do mothing, implement, bold quality initiative, talented, energetic coworkers
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his cubicle and thinks, "I could sit here doing nothing." Dilbert clenches his fists, looks determined and thinks, "Or I could implement a bold quality initiative with the help of my talented and energetic co-workers." Dilbert thinks, "I crack me up."


