Excuse Comic Strips - Page 12
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Character
125 Results for Excuse
View 111 - 120 results for excuse comic strips. Discover the best "Excuse" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday November 25,
2017
Threatening Wally
Tags laziness, excuse, threat, ultimatum
Transcript
Woman: Wally, did you finish the data scrub? Wally: No, a defect in my brain made me too lazy. Woman: Perhaps some sort of threat would get you going. Wally: It's worth a try. Woman: Do your work or else I'll tell everyone you're useless! Wally: That would save me a lot of time.
Sunday December 17,
2017
Tags laziness, accomplishment, narcissist, narcissism, review, firing, excuse
Transcript
Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.
Tuesday January 02,
2018
Wally Has A Car Problem
Friday February 16,
2018
Directionally Accurate
Tags projections, budget, finance, math, excuse, compliment, accuracy, education, money
Transcript
Boss: Are you confident in your financial projections? Wally: They're directionally accurate. Boss: Your columns don't even add up. Wally: Why is it so hard for you to give a compliment?
Thursday March 01,
2018
Optimal Meeting Density
Tags laziness, excuses, excuse, meeting, meetings, powerpoint, business
Transcript
Wally: We've achieved optimal meeting density. We have so many meetings that I can avoid all of them by saying I have another meeting at the same time. Man: While you're here, can you review my slide deck? Wally: I'd love to, but I have fifty slide decks ahead of you.
Saturday March 31,
2018
Anyone Fired Lately
Friday January 18,
2019
Did Not Know About The Server
Tags employees, excuses, irritation, managers & supervisors, office workers
Transcript
Boss: It's been six months now and you still haven't fixed our server issue. Dilbert: I didn't know we had a server issue. Boss: That's no excuse. Dilbert: Actually, it's kind of a good excuse. Boss: Now you're making excuses for your excuses!
Wednesday May 22,
2019
Wally Has Best Excuse
Tags boss, business, office, office workers, success
Transcript
wally: i was tempted to succeed this week, but i caught myself in time. wally: success would improve my odds of mating, and i don't think you want more people like me in this world. the boss: that is officially the best excuse for not working that i have ever heard. wally: shhh! don't compliment me in public!
Thursday February 06,
2020
Slide Deck Too Well Designed
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, tasks, well-designed
Transcript
boss: your slide deck is too well-designed. it suggests you spend too much time on things that are not important. asok: you don't give me important tasks. boss: that's no excuse for good design.
Friday April 24,
2020
Dogbert Hovers
Tags business, working from home, annoy, work, hear, footsteps, hoover, health, coronavirus, excuse, living
Transcript
dilbert: i can't get any work done at home because i keep hearing your footsteps all day! dogbert: excuse me for living. i'll try hovering from now on. dilbert: can you do that? dogbert hovering: there's a lot you don't know about me.


