Great Deas Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

358 Results for Great Deas

View 111 - 120 results for great deas comic strips. Discover the best "Great Deas" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales man, #vendor, #offcie, #fake personality, #buy stuff, #blue things, #so dumb

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a conference table with a salesperson. Dilbert says, "...And we'll buy a dozen of these. We're trying to spend our budget so it doesn't get cut next year." The salesperson says, "This is great! You guys are so dumb that I don't even have to use my fake personality to make the sale!" Dilbert says, "...And nine of these blue things." Salesperson turns away and pulls his pants down. The salesperson says, "There's a full moon on the horizon!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil, #Catbert, #hr director, #temporary employee, #asks employee, #want fulltime status, #orientation program

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert sits at a desk. A man sits on the other side. Catbert says, "You've been a great temporary employee. Would you like to be a permanent one?" The man says, "Yes!" Catbert says, "Ha ha ha!!! You simple fool!!!" The man says, "What was that?" Catbert, "That was your employee orientation program."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #unicorn horn, #Dilbert, #date, #sign of virility

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is on a dinner date. Dilbert has a unicorn horn growing from his forehead. The date's eyes are wide from shock. Dilbert says, "Lately, I've been growing a unicorn horn." Dilbert says, "In some cultures, this would be a sign of great virility." The date has left Dilbert alone at the table. Dilbert thinks, "It's time to admit that I don't know what women want."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #report shows raise, #raises cancelled, #pretend to work, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol hands Dilbert a piece of paper. Carol says, "This report shows how much your raise would be if raises hadn't been canceled." Dilbert says, "Wow! My imaginary life is soing great!" Dilber looks at his computer. Dilbert thinks, "Now back to pretending to work."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alpha numeric pager, #clips to ear, #belt, #going to hell

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee pot. The boss says, "Look at this great alpha-numeric pager I bought." Wally says, "Wow! It's the kind that clips to you ear instead of your belt." The boss says, "Is it?" Wally and Dilbert walk away. Dilbert says, "You're going to hell." The boss can be heard, "Ow! Ow!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #never been summoned, #intern, #respect, #great honor, #air from outdoors, #air duct, #building

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok stands in the Boss's office and says, "I have never been summoned to your office before. It is a great honor for an intern." the boss points at the ceiling and says, "I need you to crawl through this air duct and find out where air comes from." Asok says, "Air comed from out doors." The boss says, "No, I think it's coming from our building."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #scrap paper, #employees, #put in hat, #makes comforatble, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "Write on a scrap of paper the names of employees who do great work and put them in the hat in my office." Asok says, "And then do you select one name each week to receive valuable rewards?" The Boss says, "No, the scraps of paper make my hat more comfortable."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivating you, #great job, #golfing day, #cow owkrers, #pay cut

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "I decided to try to motivate you." The Boss says, "...If you do a great job, you get to go on a golfing day with co-workers." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Can I take a pay cut instead." Wally thinks, "ZZZZ"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #great turnaround ceo, #turn around, #head in hand

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok comes up to the new CEO sitting at his desk and who looks like the devil and says, "Everyone says you're a great turnaround CEO." Asok continues, "What does it take to turn around a company like this one?' Asok is walking off, holding his head under his arm and the head is thinking, "I guess it's better to not be noticed the first month."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #everyone can come, #blame traffic, #sociopth, #get enough sleep

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says to Dilbert: "I scheduled the meeting for 6:00 A.M. so everyone can make it." Dilbert says to the boss: "I assume you'll show up at eight o'clock and blame the traffic." The boss walks away and says: "The great thing about being a sociopath is that I always get enough sleep."