Ignorant Rat Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

151 Results for Ignorant Rat

View 111 - 120 results for ignorant rat comic strips. Discover the best "Ignorant Rat" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #limo, #miss pennington, #harold, #rat bert, #surgery, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert the CEO "Miss Pennington, have my driver fetch the limo." "My name isn't Miss Pennington. It's Harold." "And?" "Um...and...I'll have it legally changed to Miss Pennington so you won't be wrong." "Plus the surgery."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I want to get a good base tan before I take my vacation. "That'll prevent me from getting a sunburn when I go to the beach." "I think it's a myth that a base tan can protect you from sunburns." "You are so wrong! Let's make a bet. The loser has to jump into that freezing pond." "Fine. I'll do a search on my wireless computer. Here you go: A base tan provides only a negligible SPF 4 protection." "I'm not jumping into that freezing pond." PUSH "You were already ignorant and contentious. I didn't want you to be a welcher too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"And that's how I made a billion dollars in shady real estate deals." "The moral of the story is that crime doesn't pay..." "Directly; it goes through escrow." "Dogbert, don't ruin the rat."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"You're so attractive that I'm blind to your complete lack of qualifications." "If I hire you, will you show up for work?" "Not often, you ignorant lump." "Ha ha! It's cute the way you say it." "Ha ha! I want your office."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assisnation, #campigning, #hateful, #rat, #running mate, #unpopular, #vice presidentail

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "Ratbert, I want you to be my vice presidential running mate." "Your job is to be so unpopular that no one will want to assassinate me." Ratbert: "I can do that!" Dilbert: "Seriously. Stop campaigning on my shoe." grrr!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #board of directors, #ceo, #hired mole, #intern request, #janitor, #mole, #pulling rank, #rat, #rodent, #senior vp

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Who will present my findings to the board of directors?" The Boss: They only listen to the CEO. And he only listens to the senior vice presidents, and they only listen to the... Asok: Could you show this to the janitor for me?" RatBert: Whoa! Whoa! You don't talk to me directly!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #dont breathe, #help, #rat, #software, #software consulatant, #trying to help, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert the software consultant RatBert: Don't let your lack of knowledge interfere with my brilliance. Don't touch the keyboard, don't offer opinions and don't breathe so loudly that I can hear it. Ratbert: There. I've either configured your software or erased something called a bios.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #renounced addcition, #internet, #giving advice, #wifi booster, #signal booster, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: You'd be happier if you renounced your addiction to the internet and lived for the moment. Dilbert: Are you referring to the moment when there's a rat on my bed giving me bad advice? RatBert: How about now?" Dilbert: Perfect. Don't chew on the wi-fi signal booster.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brilliant ideas, #carnage, #honesty, #ignorance, #ludicrous ideas, #mean spirited, #mistaken self image, #roll eyes, #share project, #verbally demolish

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, I'm hoping we can work together on this project in the spirit of cooperation. I'll have some ideas, and you'll have some ideas, and together we can pick the best ones. Alice: Sure, that's one approach. But I prefer to exhale deeply and roll my eyes while you prattle. Then I will verbally demolish your ludicrous ideas, and dismantle your mistaken self-image as a competent man. The carnage will create a striking contrast for the warm, clear glow of my brilliant ideas. Later, I will round out the package by spreading amusing stories about how ignorant you are. Is there any chance of doing it my way? Alice: Now watch the eyes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stupidity, #ignorant, #cruel, #clueless, #angry, #yelling

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I hired a temp to cover your job while you're on vacation." The boss says, "She's far more qualified than you, and her stated goal is to replace you but don't worry." Carol says, "How am I supposed to not worry about that?" The Boss says, "yoga?"