Just Listen Comic Strips - Page 12
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Dogbert: Don't worry, killer, I'll get us out of this pound by nightfall. Poodle: How? Dogbert: I used my one phone call to call a wrecking company to destroy this place. Poodle: That sound dangerous to me. Coming up: A near-death experience or possibly just a stupid dream sequence.
Dilbert enters wearing a bathrobe and shines a flashlight on the chair where Dogbert is sleeping. Dogbert says in his sleep, "I'm coming toward the light . . ." Dogbert continues, "The light . . . It's so pure . . . So perfect . . . It could only be the light of GOD HIMSELF!!" Dilbert says, "No. Just new batteries." Dogbert says, "God has a sense of humor? Of course! It explains everything."
Dogbert covers his eyes with his paws and says, "I'm so embarrassed . . . I dreamed I died and saw the light of God . . ." Dogbert says to Dilbert who is wearing a bathrobe and holding a flashlight, "I trust you will just let this incident pass without comment." Dilbert says, "I command you to build an ark . . ." Dogbert growls.
Dilbert and a woman sit on the couch. The woman asks, "Would you like to hold hands?" Dilbert replies, "We'd better not . . . My dog is around here someplace." The woman asks, "What's your dog got to do with anything?" Dilbert replies, "He's a bit prudish. He won't allow it in his house." The woman replies, "HIS house? Ha ha ha! He's YOUR dog! YOU're the master!" The woman continues laughing and says, "Your dog is just a stupid hairball! And you must be a first-class wimp!" She laughs. Dogbert pulls a hose through the window and stands next to the couch holding the nozzle. Dilbert says to him, "With my blessings."
Dilbert sits at his desk holding his invention. Dogbert asks, "May I play with your 'Sonic Obliterator' invention?" Dilbert answers, "Sure." Dilbert says, "Just be careful. It has a hair trigger and can blow a truck to bits." Dogbert says, "Neat!" Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "You have to show them that you trust them." Dogbert says, "I'll be down at the post office truck yard."
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Just great . . . You've destroyed half of the city with my 'Sonic Obliterator' invention . . ." Dilbert continues, "You're being pursued by the police, FBI and National Guard . . . I TRUSTED you. Is there anything you'd like to say to me?" Dogbert replies, "Oh, yeah, thank you very much for letting me borrow the Obliterator . . . It's been great . . . Can I use it again tomorrow?"
The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'm putting you in charge of the department secretary." The Boss continues, "See if you can get him to cut down on the personal calls." The secretary sits at his desk wearing a sombrero and holding maracas. Dilbert says, ". . . Just be a little more discreet . . . For example, try NOT wearing the traditional costume of the countries you're calling."
Dilbert: My boss asked me to supervise the department secretary. I don't really know how to manage people... Dogbert: Try positive reinforcement. Praise the things he does right. Trust him to make the right choices. Man: I forgot to write down your messages, so I just put a bunch of gibberish on little pieces of paper.
Dilbert enters an auto service store and says to an auto mechanic, "Just a quick question: is is necessary to change my oil . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . Or can I just keep letting it run dry and then add new oil?" The car mechanic looks shocked. The mechanic screams and falls to the ground. Dilbert looks at the reader and says, "I think the answer is going to be 'no' to that second option."
Dilbert stands across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "We can no longer compete against the Japanese with their technology advantages." The Boss continues, "So we're sending you to Japan on an employee exchange program." Dilbert asks, "To learn their technology and bring it back here?" The Boss replies, "Just do for them what you've done for us."