Laziness Comic Strips - Page 12
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182 Results for Laziness
View 111 - 120 results for laziness comic strips. Discover the best "Laziness" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday July 25,
2016
Wally Asks About Bereavement Leave
Tags laziness, bereavement, deception, time off
Transcript
Wally: Does the company offer bereavement leave? Boss: Yes. Wally: Good, because I have hundreds of cousins that don't 'take care of themselves. Cousin Ronnie just fell off a shed.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday July 30,
2016
Wally And Agile Programming
Tags laziness, work ethic, avoid, evasion, acrobatics
Transcript
Boss: I'll ask Wally to write this software. I haven't seen him since he took that agile programming class.
Wednesday August 10,
2016
God Helps Those Who Help Themselves
Tags help, assistance, sayings, adage, divine intervention, laziness
Transcript
Man: Can you get me that data by Friday? Wally: They say "God helps those who help themselves." Man: So... you won't help? Wally: I'm waiting for you to go first. Man: And then you'll help? Wally: No, the order is you, then God, then me.
Sunday August 14,
2016
Tags workload, work ethic, laziness, teamwork, team, philosophy, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I don't know how you are stress-free when we have so much work to do. Wally: It's all about understanding percentages. No matter how hard you work, you will never finish even two percent of what needs to be done. The financial rewards of doing two percent of your work are identical to doing none. It's also a good idea to volunteer for several projects so everyone thinks you're working on the other ones. Your problem is that you're doing actual work for no good reason. Dilbert: My problem is that I'm doing your work plus my work! Wally: It's only two percent more work, you whiner.
Monday August 22,
2016
Wally's Inappropriate Attire
Tags dress code, outfit, crop top, deception, ploy, trick, telecommuting, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Boss: That is inappropriate office attire! Go home and work remotely for the rest of the day. Dilbert: How'd it work out? Wally: Phase one was a total success. Phase two involves napping.
Monday August 29,
2016
The Self Serving Consultant
Tags consultant, cruelty, laziness, work ethic, business
Transcript
The Self-Serving Consultant. Dogbert: I recommend firing this guy so you have more money for me. I also recommend withholding his final check until he makes all of my PowerPoint slides for me. Man: This is messed up. Dogbert: Add some recommendations so I sound smart.
Wednesday August 31,
2016
The Long Email
Tags communication, laziness, email, tldr
Transcript
Boss: You never got back to me with your answer. Dilbert: Yes, I did. I spent three hours writing an email that tells you all you need to know. Boss: What did it say?
Thursday September 01,
2016
Tell Me What Was In The Email
Tuesday September 13,
2016
Permission To Work Smarter
Tags sayings, motivation, Advice, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: Do I have your permission to work smarter and not harder? Boss: Um... sure. That sounds like a good thing to do. But how would I know you were working? Wally: I don't even know if I'm working right now.
Thursday September 29,
2016
Bribing Wally
Tags bribe, morals, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: I don't have time to help. Coworker: What if I bribe you to do your job? I am literally offering to give you my personal money to do the job your employer pays you to do. Wally: Are you willing to turn a blind eye to my total lack of effort, or should I find a better briber?

