Laziness Comic Strips - Page 12

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182 Results for Laziness

View 111 - 120 results for laziness comic strips. Discover the best "Laziness" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Asks About Bereavement Leave

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Wally Asks About Bereavement Leave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, bereavement, deception, time off

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Wally: Does the company offer bereavement leave? Boss: Yes. Wally: Good, because I have hundreds of cousins that don't 'take care of themselves. Cousin Ronnie just fell off a shed.

Wally And Agile Programming

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Wally And Agile Programming - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, avoid, evasion, acrobatics

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Boss: I'll ask Wally to write this software. I haven't seen him since he took that agile programming class.

God Helps Those Who Help Themselves

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God Helps Those Who Help Themselves - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags help, assistance, sayings, adage, divine intervention, laziness

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Man: Can you get me that data by Friday? Wally: They say "God helps those who help themselves." Man: So... you won't help? Wally: I'm waiting for you to go first. Man: And then you'll help? Wally: No, the order is you, then God, then me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags workload, work ethic, laziness, teamwork, team, philosophy, business

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Dilbert: I don't know how you are stress-free when we have so much work to do. Wally: It's all about understanding percentages. No matter how hard you work, you will never finish even two percent of what needs to be done. The financial rewards of doing two percent of your work are identical to doing none. It's also a good idea to volunteer for several projects so everyone thinks you're working on the other ones. Your problem is that you're doing actual work for no good reason. Dilbert: My problem is that I'm doing your work plus my work! Wally: It's only two percent more work, you whiner.

Wally's Inappropriate Attire

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Wally's Inappropriate Attire - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dress code, outfit, crop top, deception, ploy, trick, telecommuting, laziness, work ethic

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Boss: That is inappropriate office attire! Go home and work remotely for the rest of the day. Dilbert: How'd it work out? Wally: Phase one was a total success. Phase two involves napping.

The Self Serving Consultant

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The Self Serving Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags consultant, cruelty, laziness, work ethic, business

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The Self-Serving Consultant. Dogbert: I recommend firing this guy so you have more money for me. I also recommend withholding his final check until he makes all of my PowerPoint slides for me. Man: This is messed up. Dogbert: Add some recommendations so I sound smart.

The Long Email

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The Long Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags communication, laziness, email, tldr

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Boss: You never got back to me with your answer. Dilbert: Yes, I did. I spent three hours writing an email that tells you all you need to know. Boss: What did it say?

Tell Me What Was In The Email

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Tell Me What Was In The Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags email, laziness, attention, detail, tldr

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Boss: I don't have time to read your long email. Tell me what it said. Dilbert: I wrote a long email because a summary would be dangerously misleading. Boss: I'll be the judge of that. Dilbert: How?!!!

Permission To Work Smarter

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Permission To Work Smarter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sayings, motivation, Advice, laziness, work ethic

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Wally: Do I have your permission to work smarter and not harder? Boss: Um... sure. That sounds like a good thing to do. But how would I know you were working? Wally: I don't even know if I'm working right now.

Bribing Wally

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Bribing Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bribe, morals, laziness, work ethic

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Wally: I don't have time to help. Coworker: What if I bribe you to do your job? I am literally offering to give you my personal money to do the job your employer pays you to do. Wally: Are you willing to turn a blind eye to my total lack of effort, or should I find a better briber?