Medical Procedure Comic Strips - Page 12

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156 Results for Medical Procedure

View 111 - 120 results for medical procedure comic strips. Discover the best "Medical Procedure" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #weight, #dieting, #willpower, #denial, #circular logic, #eating, #health, #happiness, #weight loss, #obesity, #psychology, #medical

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Dilbert: I invented a device that can help people lose weight. Boss: I wouldn't need that because I have willpower. Dilbert: Then why are you overweight? Boss: This is temporary. Dilbert: You've looked exactly the same for years. Boss: I can lose this weight any time I want. Dilbert: So... are you saying you choose to be less healthy than you could be? Boss: I'm saying I'd rather be happy than healthy. Dilbert: Are you happy? Boss: No, because I'm hungry. Dilbert: And eating will make you happy? Boss: Well, I usually eat until I'm sick.

In The Long Run We Are All Dead

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In The Long Run We Are All Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work, #work ethic, #existentialism, #suffering, #death, #philosophy, #pessimism, #Advice, #medical

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Dogbert: As you head to your horrible job, remember these inspirational words... In the long run, we're all dead. Dilbert: That feels like an oversimplification. Dogbert: I skipped the part where you suffer for 90 years.

Health Sensor Predictes Death

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Health Sensor Predictes Death - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #invention, #success, #technology, #health monitor, #fitbit, #smart watch, #heart, #heart rate, #death, #medical

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Ted: The health sensors you built into our smart watch prototype aren't working. According to your stupid sensors, my heart is going to stop beating in... Dilbert: Yay me!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #dying, #death, #health, #health tracker, #heart rate monitor, #ads, #scare, #fitbit, #smart watch, #medical

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Boss: The health sensors and predictive algorithms you built into our smart watch are too good. People are freaked out because it sends alerts to their phones when they have five minutes left to live. Dilbert: Isn't that useful? Boss: It was, until we started sending paid ads as alerts.

Ted Died Last Week

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Ted Died Last Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #listening, #listen, #listener, #silence, #death, #dead, #attention, #medical

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Dilbert: Ted died in his cubicle. Alice: When? Dilbert: About a week ago. They just found him. Alice: Remember when I said Ted is an unusually good listener? I have new data.

Nano Robots Are The New Health Plan

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Nano Robots Are The New Health Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2015's comic on:


Tags #technology, #robots, #invention, #health, #big business, #corporation, #nanobot

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CEO: We're replacing the employee health plan with nanorobot technology. We'll insert tiny medical robots into their lower digestive tracts to keep them healthy forever. Boss: So, our plan is to shove robots up... CEO: Only until the robots can replace them.

Wally Drains Robot

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Wally Drains Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2015's comic on:


Tags #robot, #technology, #murder, #killing, #power, #laziness, #work ethic, #weapon

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Robot: You killed ten thousand medical nanorobots by exposure to your bloodstream. That makes you the biggest mass murderer of robots in history. Gaaa!!! Why is my power supply draining so rapidly? Wally: Run.

Wally's Stress Problem

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Wally's Stress Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #stress, #health, #work, #employee, #work ethic, #laziness, #excuse

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Wally: I need to take an extended medical leave to deal with my job-related stress. The stress is degrading my cardiovascular system. I could drop dead any minute. Boss: Which part of your job is causing stress? Wally: I think it's the work part.

Stress As A Wellness Issue

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Stress As A Wellness Issue - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #loophole, #medicine, #health, #stress, #work, #medical leave, #work ethic, #laziness

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Boss: We have a problem. Our employee wellness site lists stress as a medical problem. And working here causes stress. Catbert: How many of them took paid medical leave? Boss: It's just you now. I'm packed.

Stress Typo On Website

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Stress Typo On Website - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2015's comic on:


Tags #health, #wellness, #corporate policy, #stress, #medical leave, #laziness, #loophole, #typo, #mistake, #work ethic

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CEO: How many employees did you say took paid medical leave? Catbert: All of them. A typo on our wellness website listed stress as an illness instead of a cause of illness. CEO: Is it too late to backpedal on the wellness thing? Catbert: I'll just fix the typo. It's all good.