Next Level Shale Comic Strips - Page 12

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View 111 - 120 results for next level shale comic strips. Discover the best "Next Level Shale" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 1994's comic on:


Tags #appointment, #booked, #every yahoo, #set priorities, #calendar

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The Boss: As the leader of this organization it's my job to set priorities. Carol: Heres your calendar, I booked you through next year with every yahoo who could dial your number. The Boss: Maybe I'll call this a priority.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 1994's comic on:


Tags #forgiveness, #seek permission, #personal risk, #next reorganization, #sound stupid, #ask permission

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Wally: "I say it's easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission." TED : "I say it's better to seek permission, thus delaying your personal risk until it all becomes moot in the next reorganization." Wally: "That makes mine sound kinda stupid." TED: "Get over it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 1994's comic on:


Tags #resources vailable, #common employees, #more money, #project, #all gone, #hypocrite boss, #no time

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The Boss: "Although I'm technically the 'Boss' I believe it's my job to make resources available to you, the common employees." Dilbert: "I need more money for my project." The Boss: "Sorry, all gone." Dilbert: "Maybe I'll get on your calendar so we can discuss it." The Boss: I've got twenty minutes next summer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 1994's comic on:


Tags #business, #competition, #control, #deadbeats, #for scuccess, #mangers, #reorganize, #subgroup, #thrown out window, #whiners

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- How to reorganize for success Put All your deadbeats and whiners in one sub group. Deadbeats: we don't want to be a subgroup. -Give them a project that duplicates work being done by more competent people elsewhere in the company.- Soon, the manager of the competent people will find out you're duplicating his work. Man: You're on my turf Dogbert: Boo hoo - He'll make a play to get your project under his control.- Man: They should be transferred to my control. - Before you transfer the deadbeats. Give them high performance reviews to conceal your treachery Deadbeat: Godlike ? wow! Dogbert: I'll miss you. - In time, the manager who took your losers will fail, this decreasing competition for promotions. AAIIII!! Dogbert: Next week I'll discuss teamwork - the managers obstacle to success.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 1994's comic on:


Tags #body language, #politely tell, #remove watch, #smash watch, #daily planner, #feel good, #act bored, #self heimlich manuever, #kerokian dodge, #instructions

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"Dogbert's Body Language Update" "Are you hampered by the limits of conventional body language?" "I can help." - How can you politely tell somebody he's babbling? "Babble, Babble." - Remove the offender's watch while he babbles.- "Babble." - Smash the watch with your daily planner. - "Babble." "Whack!" - This won't stop the babble, but it will feel real good for a minute.- "Babble." "Mmm." - Use this position to signal your surrender to the babble.- "Babble." -Next week - the self-Heimlich manuever and the Kervorkian dodge.- "Babble."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dilbert date, #asks lunch date, #cheryl, #full of lunch, #rejection, #next week, #turned down, #lame excuse, #office, #co worker

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Dilbert: Hi Cheryl. would you like to have lunch with me next week? Cheryl: I..uh...already ate lunch. Im not hungry. Dilbert: Im talking about next week!! Cheryl: I don't think I can have another bite, all full.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bun, #eat a bug, #evalution, #motivation, #performance evaluation

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The Boss: Your performance this year was 'fair'. But I'll raise your appraisal to "excellent" if you'll eat a bug. Wally: Say what? The Boss: eat a bug. The Boss: I didn't have much luck with the other management techniques so Im kinda winging it now. Wally:Do i get to pick the bug? The boss: Its way more motivational if I pick the bug. Dilbert: How did your evaluation go? Wally: MXLT Next! Dilbert: Do I get a bun? The boss: You guys are never happy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 1994's comic on:


Tags #corporate politics, #waste basket, #teach everything, #promoted level

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Dilbert: I want you to teach me everything you know about corporate politics so I can get promoted to your level. The Boss: To truly understand office politics you must wear a waste basket on your head for one full day. LATER Dilbert: Does this really work? The Boss: It works for me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #bathroom, #business

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dilbert: We could have our next all-day staff meeting at my house. Alice: do you have actual furniture? Dilbert: Somebody will have to sit in the bathroom Wally: I call bathroom.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 1994's comic on:


Tags #good inertia, #marketing department, #project, #under funded, #uniformed decision, #take blame

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The Boss: How's your project coming along? Dilbert: Its under-funded and doomed. But Ive got some goof inertia going and Im setting the marketing department up to take the blame. The Boss: I feel like I should be doing something here. Dilbert: Ive got you planned to make an uniformed decision next week.