Not A Lot Of Aerobics Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

217 Results for Not A Lot Of Aerobics

View 111 - 120 results for not a lot of aerobics comic strips. Discover the best "Not A Lot Of Aerobics" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carrying, #downsizing, #cruel, #dying, #walking, #Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "We can save the most money by downsizing the unhealthiest workers first." The boss says, "How do we know who they are?" Catbert says, "We'll close the parking lot that's nearest the building." Asok says, "Should we help them?" Wally says, "It's too late for broccoli."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employee, #spreadsheet, #yelling, #pain, #bored, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

The MBA guy Man says, "I put together a spreadsheet that might interest you." The boss says, "Ow! Ow! It's so boring, it hurts my head!" The boss says, "My brain is trying to escape through my ear!" Man says, "I get this a lot."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #news, #deception, #evil

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Sales are tanking because our online reviews are awful." The boss says, "Cripple a feature and change the model number so the online reviews look stale." Dilbert says, "Wow. That was a lot of evil packed into one sentence." The boss says, "Thank you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget, #planning, #Advice, #money, #rant, #ignoring, #thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "How much will it cost to develop our next generation product?" Dilbert says, "It will cost whatever you put in the budget." The boss says, "How much should I put in the budget?" Dilbert says, "Ask for the biggest number you think will get approved." Dilbert says, "If we get a lot of money we can build something great." Dilbert says, "If we don't get much money we can build something lame, and compensate for the lack of quality by lying more vigorously than usual." The boss says, "I'll aim low so I don't get yelled at during the executive budget meeting." Dilbert thinks, "I remember the time when this sort of thing would haunt me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustrated, #angry, #stupidity, #forgetful, #yelling, #ignorant

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "?And those are the four things I need you to ask our VP of marketing." The Boss says, "Got it." Dilbert says, "Maybe you should write them down." The boss says, "I'll remember." Dilbert says, "You have a lot on your mind. A little note might be a good idea." The Boss says, "How hard is it to remember three things?" The boss says, "Sheesh!" Dilbert says, "Four things! There are four questions!" The Boss says, "Right, right. There's the one about the battery and the other two." Dilbert says, "There are four questions! Four, four, four!!! And none of them are about a battery!" Later that day The boss says, "Should the new software have a battery?" Man says, "How would I know?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #convincing, #plan, #scheme, #twitter, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "We find you interesting." The boss says, "You do?" Wally says, "Oh, yes. Every little thing you do is interesting." The Boss says, "I didn't know that." Wally says, "Hey, I just had an idea." Wally says, "Maybe you should use twitter to leave us little messages about all of your days activities." Dilbert says, "It would make us feel connected to our leader. And dare I say, more motivated." The Boss says, "Well, gosh. I suppose I could try it." Wally says, "I already feel an improvement in my quality of life." Wally says, "Where's idiot boy now?" Dilbert says, "In the parking lot. No need to look busy yet."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee, #stock tip, #ridicule, #criticism, #hair cut, #old fashioned, #doubt, #annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "I have a great stock tip for you, Alice." Alice says, "And I should trust you because you're an expert on all things except your own ridiculous hair?" Man says, "I also know a lot about old cars." Alice says, "Shocker."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dead, #afterlife, #evicted, #management, #teach, #learn, #consultant, #devil, #late, #status report, #locusts, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Technically, I was dead for a week. But I was evicted from the afterlife and had to come back." The Boss says, "The afterlife has a lot to teach us about management. I brought home a consultant." Dilbert says, "I might be late with my status report." The Boss says, "Do you know what locusts taste like?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wolfgang, #legend, #spread rumor, #scacred, #hand up, #shake, #beard, #name, #plead, #bow, #software genius

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I asked Wolfgang to join us." The Boss says, "He's a software genius, if not a legend." The Boss says, "He knows more than all of you put together." The Boss says, "Plus his name is Wolfgang." The Boss says, "Some say his talent is a genetic mutation. Others say that god speaks to him in Unix." The Boss says, "All we know for sure is that he glows, and he never needs to eat." The Boss says, "I feel a chill. It means he's appraoching." The Boss says, "Please don't reprogram my DNA and make me a monkey-man!!!" Wally says, "People make a lot of assumptions when you change your name to Wolfgang and stop shaving."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death ray, #invention, #brain scan, #popcorn, #microwave, #worry, #eyebrows, #north korea

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO CEO says, "We're getting a lot of interest in your death ray invention." Dilbert says, "It's not a death ray. It's a portable brain scanner with a popcorn microwave option?" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. That's a death ray." CEO says, "We have an RFQ from North Korea."