Paid By Hour Comic Strips - Page 12

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298 Results for Paid By Hour

View 111 - 120 results for paid by hour comic strips. Discover the best "Paid By Hour" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good job, #meeting woman, #late, #sixty hour week, #stock options decline, #not impressed

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A woman asks Dilbert, "Do you have a good job?" Dilbert says, "It depends on what you mean by good." Dilbert continues, "If you consider the decline of my stock options, I work sixty hours a week for nothing." The woman says, "Hey, look at the time." Dilbert says, "My boss thinks I work eighty hours. Hee hee!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #software expenses, #marketing software expenses, #monkeys, #wear watches, #boss asks, #budget, #costs, #expenses

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The Boss sees Alice at her desk and asks, "Why are our software expenses higher than marketing's software expenses?" Alice replies, "For the same reason monkey's don't wear watches." Caption reads: "One hour later." The Boss returns and asks, "Does it involve fur in any way?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #taking bribes, #from vendors, #feel guilty, #getting paid, #walk with cup, #looks harder

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Carol sits behind her desk. Wally approaches with a cup of coffee and says, "Do you feel guilty about taking bribes from vendors?" Carol replies, "No. Do you feel guilty getting paid to walk around with a coffee cup?" Wally walks away thinking, "I need a bigger cup so this looks harder."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leave work early, #doctor appt, #female issues, #get out of work, #worked, #80 hour week, #boss, #zombie

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Alice is leaving the office with her briefcase and her jacket. The Boss stands with his hands on his hips in the doorway behind her and says, "It looks like someone is leaving early." Alice turns and replies, "I started at 5 a.m. and I've already worked eighty hours this week." The Boss looks at her and says, "SO?" Alice replies, "I have a doctor's appointment...for female..." as the Boss puts his hands to his ears and yells, "No details! Go Go Go!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time to market, #benchmark, #two hours, #stole hours, #good mother year

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Wally and Alice sit on either side of the Boss. Alice looks crazed and her eyes begin to twitch. The Boss says, "...And incrementally develop time-to-market benchmark framework..." Suddenly, Alice throws her arms up and screams out, "This meeting stole two hours of my life!!!" The Boss looks at her, then asks, "Did that help?" Alice, looking exhausted, replies, "Yeah, I'm good for another hour."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #day off, #move my home, #one hour, #negotiate, #can't use vehicle

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Asok asks The Boss, "May I have a day off to move my home?" The Boss says, "One hour." Asok replies, "What? Why only one hour?" The Boss says, "I like to negotiate." Asok says, "I guess I can try doing it in one hour." The Boss adds, "And you can't use a vehicle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #creativity exercise, #device, #converts air to electricty, #create a missle, #defense laser, #scissors holder

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Headline: Creativity Exercise. A man stands in front of a machine and says to a group, "Team One made a device that converts air to electricity." The man stands in front of a different group. He claps and says, "Team Two used their hour to create a missile defense laser." The man approaches Dilbert, The Boss, Alice, and Wally and asks, "Team Three, do you need more time?" The Boss responds, "It's a scissors holder!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #creative design, #design, #build mock up, #common materials, #worst team memeber, #ignore suggestions

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Headline: Creative Design. A man points to materials and says, "Each team has one hour to design and build a mock-up using these common materials." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Question: doesn't this sort of exercise usually get dominated by the worst team member?" The Boss responds, "Don't worry, we can just ignore Alice's suggestions." Alice clenches her teeth in anger.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competitive compensation, #competitive means not highest

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "According to this survey the compensation here is 'competitive.'" Dilbert responds, "Competitive means not the highest. So we could get paid more if we worked at another company?" Dilbert continues, "Should we continue working as hard as we can or should we back off to a more competitive level?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #totally safe, #nuclear power plant, #elbonia, #slacve labor, #woo-hoo

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Dilbert says to Wally and Asok, "Our assignment is to design a totally safe nuclear power plant." Wally responds, "Let's put it in Elbonia. That seems safe to me." An Elbonian says to another, "Our offer of cheerful slave labor paid off!" The other responds, "Woo-Hoo!!"