Relations Between The Sexes Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

174 Results for Relations Between The Sexes

View 111 - 120 results for relations between the sexes comic strips. Discover the best "Relations Between The Sexes" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tool belt, wear, date, squirrel satellite dish, user

View Transcript

Transcript

woman: "Dilbert, when you come over tonight, wear your toolbelt." Dilbert says, "Because it's sexy?" woman: "That would be between you and the squirrel that keeps chewing the cable from my satellite dish."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags moral compass, healed, position of power, narrow gap, executive pay, worker pay

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My moral compass has healed. Can I keep my new job in management?" Dilbert says, "I'd like to use my position of power to narrow the gap between executive and worker pay."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags collections, job, customer service, nervous, busy, confused, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert works in collections Customer says, "My wife hates me and I live between and archery range and a nest of rabid badgers." Dilbert says, "Is that a reason for not paying your bills?" Customer says, "I'm just saying you called at as bad time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lying, reading, taxes, audit, ridiculous, costume

View Transcript

Transcript

Income Tax Auditor Man says, "You claim your company is exempt from taxes because you're incorporated in?heaven?" Dogbert says, "Exactly." Man says, "I'm not allowed to question that claim because of the seperation between church and state." Wally says, "I am the angel Wally!" DOgbert says, "Hold on, Wally. We're selling past the close."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags asking, approval, bureaucracy, avoiding, explaining, disappearing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Can you approve this change?" Woman says, "I'll have to run it by my corporate office." Woman says, "And we're in merger talks, so they'll need to clear it with our future owners." Woman says, "No one will know who should make the decision or what the right decision is." Dilbert says, "When do you think you'll have an answer?" Woman says, "Sometime between next week and whenever the earth is devoured by a gravitational singularity." Woman says, "Meanwhile I will avoid your calls and e-mails by becoming a vapor." Dilbert says, "You forgot the approval form."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technical, skills, disconnect, trivial, knowledge, outdated, wasted

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "There is a huge disconnect between my enormous technical knowledge and the trivial taks you assign to me." The Boss says, "That's a temporary situation, Asok." Asok says, "Okay, good." The Boss says, "Eventually your technical skills will become outdated."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags urban legends, reality, check up, underwear, doctor, exam, social security number, tic tacs, pills, trick, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I can't tell the difference between urban legends and reality." Doctor says, "I'll need your social security number so I can tell the government not to count any votes you cast." The Boss says, "You can do that?" Doctor says, "Here're some pills that look exactly like tic tacs."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, technical jargon, lame, condescending, integration layer, insult, head, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "This week I mapped our applications to our domains and defined the interface between our applications and our software environment." Wally says, "Whatever you did this week probably seems lame compared to all of that." Wally says, "The stuff I'm doing is way up here in what's called in the integration layer." The Boss says, "What's he's been reading?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags date, romance, cook, sarcastic, insult, free catering

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "I like it when a man cooks for me." Dilbert says, "I love it when a woman knows the difference between affection and free catering." Dilbert says, "We wanted different things."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags statue of liberty, destroy, pr, responsibility, clean up, new york harbor, light show, weapon demo, consultant, cuba, air force, sink, yell, angry, private jet, head, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "So you accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty?" Dogbert says, "Her head is floating toward Cuba, and the president will probably order the air force to sink it." CEO says, "I should watch that from my private jet." Dogbert says, "FOCUS!"