Self Complimentary Comic Strips - Page 12

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148 Results for Self Complimentary

View 111 - 120 results for self complimentary comic strips. Discover the best "Self Complimentary" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2013's comic on:


Tags #earring, #headphones, #interviews, #self comscious, #snobbishness, #startup culture, #self conscious, #hipster, #earing

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Interview at a start-up Interviewer: We only hire people who fit into our awesome start-up culture. Dilbert: No problem. I can be a self-conscious hipster if you think that's what keeps the lights on. Interviewer: I kind of do. Dilbert: What would I need besides an earring and headphones?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2013's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #depression (mental state), #inventions, #self worth, #doubt, #microwave, #machine language, #kill me, #beep

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Robot: You keep giving me trivial assignments that make me doubt my self-worth. Boss: Chill out. You don't hear the microwave whining all day long. Robot: He doesn't know that the machine word for "Please kill me is 'Beep.'" Microwave: Beep.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #executives, #mental health, #psychopaths, #grandiose sense, #self worth, #kill for asking

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Executive Coaching Dogbert; Research shows that CEOs are more likely to be psychopaths. Obviously, being a psychopath works. Don't let anyone tell you different. How's your grandiose sense of self-worth? CEO: It's the best. I should kill you for asking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 2013's comic on:


Tags #bad treatment, #dating, #honesty, #low self esteem, #mental health, #mixed signals, #therapist, #relationships, #psychology

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Woman: My therapist says I have low self-esteem. Dilbert: I like where this is heading. Woman: I'm drawn to guys who treat me poorly. Dilbert: You sound crazy. Woman: Jerk. Dilbert: In my defense, you send mixed signals.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2014's comic on:


Tags #boss, #cruelty, #executives, #joking, #self deprecating joke, #tasks, #underling

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CEO: Hello, underling. Watch me do a self-deprecating joke to underscore my true power. Ho ho! I am not good at some types of unimportant tasks! Ha ha! That's why I'm glad I have people like you to do those things. Dilbert: Impressive.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2014's comic on:


Tags #employees, #mental health, #vision not money, #mental problems, #low self esteem, #performance review, #business

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Boss: We need employees that are motivated by our vision, not by money. Catbert: Are we looking for any other mental problems, or just that one? Boss: I"m also a big fan of low self-esteem. It comes in handy at performance review time.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2014's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #mentally weak, #no ambition, #no self respect, #happiest person, #kill, #psychology

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Alice: You're mentally weak. You have no ambition, no pride, and no self-respect. Wally: I'm also the happiest person in this room. Alice: Now I just want to kill you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2014's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #money, #billion dollars, #stop working, #self defeating

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Dilbert: If you made a billion dollars, would you stop working? Wally: How would I make a billion dollars? Dilbert: You would have to start working. Wally: It seems sort of self-defeating.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2014's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #optimism, #workday, #negativity, #perfect day, #self control, #underestimated, #psychology

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Dilbert: I had a great day at work for the first time ever! Don't ruin this day for me. I don't want to hear one word of negativity out of you. None. I want this to be a perfect day. Dogbert: Once again you have grossly underestimated my self-control.

Donuts 'N Vodka

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Donuts 'N Vodka - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2014's comic on:


Tags #cognitive control, #hiring, #job interview, #self control, #temptation, #prediction of success, #donut, #laptop, #bottle vodka, #resist

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Catbert: Your experience is impressive, but a better predictor of success is your cognitive control. I will leave you for ten minutes with a donut, a laptop full of inappropriate videos, and a bottle of vodka. Try to resist them. Man: Yee-ha! Mmm-mm! Catbert: Do not go in there.