Your Fired Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

149 Results for Your Fired

View 111 - 120 results for your fired comic strips. Discover the best "Your Fired" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illness, #laziness, #sitting disease, #sit all day, #bad health, #safety more eimportant, #drink coffee instead

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've got a bad case of something the experts call "sitting disease." Studies show that people who sit all day for their jobs have 40% greater chance of dying in the next three years. Company policy says safety is more important than productivity, right? Boss: Um... sort of. Wally: So instead of sitting at my desk working, I plan to walk around and drink coffee. For safety reasons. Boss: GO sit at your desk or you're fired. There's a good chance this problem will resolve itself within three years.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #magician, #press agents, #pubilcity, #famous magician, #fired, #stayed in swear, #rats for month

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Your last job was doing publicity for a famous magician. Why did you leave. Interviewee: My boss fired me after the trick where he stayed in a sewer full of rats for a month. Dilbert: I didn't hear about that. Interviewee: I forgot to tell anyone it was happening.

Zig Zag

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Zig Zag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #insubordination, #leadership, #zigzag, #insanity, #fired

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The secret to being a great leader is to zig when others zag. Dilbert: Coincidentally, that is the same strategy used by the insane. CEO: I should fire you for your insubordination. Dilbert: Or you could zig.

Dogbert The Third Ceo

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert The Third Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business tactics, #ceos, #executives, #co ceo, #third ceo, #tiebreaker, #fired, #disagreement, #new guy

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I hired a co-CEO, but it isn't working because we disagree on everything. We want to hire you as our third CEO so we always have a tiebreaker. Dogbert: I accept. The new guy and I have decided to fire you and split the CEO spot two ways.

Ceo Gets Rehired

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Gets Rehired - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dancing, #executives, #firing, #payback, #revenge, #vengeance, #rehired, #ceo, #security videos, #happy dance, #spasms

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Good news! I got rehired as CEO! I checked the security videos for the day I got fired, and not I'm getting revenge on anyone who did a happy dance. Dilbert: Did I...? CEO: Frankly, I can't tell. Do you have spasms?

Alice Uses Social Media

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Uses Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #social media, #twitter, #careers, #competition, #deception, #trick, #flame, #internet, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Well, Ted, it looks like you and I are competing for the same promotion. My plan is to use social media to make you look bad. Catbert: I fired Ted for trash-talking you on Twitter. Alice: I don't have a social media account and it still works!

Ceo Wants To Fire Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Wants To Fire Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #firing, #fired, #termination, #identity, #fake identity, #alias, #nom de guerre, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO ordered me to fire you for embarrassing him at a meeting But that would be inconvenient for me. So... I'm going to call you Carlos from now on. And it would help if you grew a beard and walked with a limp.

Ted Has A Bad Feeling

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Has A Bad Feeling - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fired, #firing, #prognostication, #predict, #psychic, #complaining, #complaint, #prophecy

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I have a bad feeling about the direction of my project. Boss: You complain too much. You're fired. Dilbert: So... now you believe you can predict the future. Ted: Magic is real.

Managing Your Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Managing Your Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #accountability, #blame, #time, #time management

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your project is three weeks behind schedule. Dilbert: That's the exact amount of time I was waiting for you to answer my questions. Boss: You need to manage me better. Dilbert: Okay, you're fired.

Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #cost, #fired, #layoff, #suggestion

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to cut our expenses. Dilbert: I recommend eliminating Ted's job. Ted: What??? I recommend eliminating Dilbert's job! Just because he said it first??? Boss: Let's not over-analyze it.