35 Hours Comic Strips - Page 12

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206 Results for 35 Hours

View 111 - 120 results for 35 hours comic strips. Discover the best "35 Hours" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2003's comic on:


Tags #late worker, #coffee and bagel, #starts late, #woman, #worked 6am, #paid same, #smarter, #casual brillaince

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Wally is walking past Alice's cubicle. Alice calls out, "You're coming to work at nine-thirty?" Alice walks over to Wally and says, "By the time you get your coffee and get your bagel, it'll be ten o'clock!" Alice continues, "I started at six! I've already worked for four hours, and I'll probably stay late!" Alice continues, "Over the course of a lifetime, I'll work twice as much as you!" Alice realizes, "But... we'll be paid the same... and we'll both die anyway." Alice continues, "So.. I guess what you're saying is that you're smarter than I am." Alice yells, "I curse the casual brilliance of your life strategy!!!" Wally walks away and thinks, "My bagel will be extra tasty today."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2003's comic on:


Tags #focus on execution, #excuse poepl, #look like accident, #two hours long, #meetings

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The Boss' boss shakes his finger at The Boss and says, "You've got to focus on execution!" The Boss is puzzled. The Boss says to Catbert, "I think he wants me to execute people." Catbert responds, "Make it look like an accident." The Boss announces at a meeting, "From now on, my staff meetings will be two hours long." Alice and Wally sob.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2003's comic on:


Tags #blank cd, #demo, #empty case, #forgetting blank cd, #new product, #software, #travel, #travelled four hours, #unit, #once we write, #engineering

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Dilbert approaches a receptionist and says, "I have an appointment to see a demo of your new product." The salesman holds up a box and says to Dilbert, "And the unit will be in a case like this, but completely different, and it will have software, once we write it." Dilbert holds the box and says, "You let me travel four hours to see an empty case?" The salesman replies, "Are you forgetting the blank CD?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2003's comic on:


Tags #100 hrs a week, #ask for raise, #top secret facilit, #super genius, #resume, #honest, #take one, #know one

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An interviewee says to The Boss, "If you hire me, I'll work a hundred hours a week and never ask for a raise!" The interviewee continues, "I went to school at a top-secret facility for super geniuses; that's why it's not on my resume." The Boss says to Catbert, "And I'm sure it's all true because he says he's honest!" Catbert replies, "Apparently it doesn't take one to know one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2003's comic on:


Tags #evil hr director, #flex time, #long hours, #eight to five, #unpaid overtime, #need to be flexible

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Headline: Catbert: Evil H.R. Catbert addresses a meeting, "From now on, the company will allow flex time." Catbert continues, "You can work any hours you like, as long as you're here from eight to five." Dilbert turns and says, "That's called unpaid overtime." Catbert replies, "And you need to be flexible to do that yourself, right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #40 hours, #everyone, #likes asok, #minute old, #new system, #work one computer, #extreme programming

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The Boss says to Wally, Dilbert, Asok, and Alice, "We're going to try something called Extreme Programming." The Boss continues, "First, pick a partner. The two of you will work at one computer for forty hours a week." Dilbert and Alice jump on Asok and cling to him. Wally says, "The new system is a minute old and I already hate everyone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2002's comic on:


Tags #conversations banned, #talk about work, #applies work hours, #home, #Family, #sleeping, #harsh rules, #evil director, #human resources, #business

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Headline: To: Employees From: Catbert. Catbert types, "All non-work conversations are banned." Catbert continues typing, "From now on you're only allowed to talk about work." An employee is eating dinner at home with his family. All of his children are asleep at the table. His wife says, "I think it only applies during work hours." The employee responds, "I can't take that chance."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2002's comic on:


Tags #bragging, #hours per week, #made up, #reorganized pattern, #seventy hours, #sixty hours, #complaining

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Dilbert, Wally, and Alice are eating lunch. Dilbert says, "I worked sixty hours last week." Alice replies, "That's nothing. I worked seventy hours." Wally says, "That's nothing..." Wally continues, "Oh, wait... I just recognized the pattern."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2002's comic on:


Tags #away from home more, #career advice, #good advice, #hearing it, #hideous commute, #longer hours, #no growth potential, #self loathing, #unhappiness

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Dilbert is at home in his bathrobe. He says to Dogbert, "I need career advice." Dogbert replies, "You came to the right place." Dilbert says, "Should I keep my comfortable job that has no growth potential?" Dilbert continues, "Or should I take a better job with longer hours and a hideous commute?" Dogbert answers, "The first choice is a sure path to self-loathing and unhappiness." Dogbert continues, "The second choice will squeeze the life out of you like a vise on a peach." Dogbert continues, "You really can't win. So I recommend the choice that keeps you away from home more." Dogbert continues, "Because frankly - and I'll try to say this delicately - a little bit of you goes a long way." Dogbert concludes, "That's the problem with good advice. No one wants to hear it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 2001's comic on:


Tags #dogcart airplines, #flight exits, #35 hours, #flight delayed, #weather, #direct sunlight

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Headline: Dogbert Airlines. A disheveled customer says to Dogbert, "I've been waiting for 35 hours. Are you sure my flight exists?" Dogbert responds, "According to my computer your flight is delayed by weather." The customer asks, "What kind of weather?" Dogbert responds, "Our planes can't handle direct sunlight."