Add Credibility Comic Strips - Page 12

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134 Results for Add Credibility

View 111 - 120 results for add credibility comic strips. Discover the best "Add Credibility" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dogbert the publisher, #book, #minor changes, #purple dinosaur, #detective, #eliminate the murder, #murder mystery

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"Dogbert the Publisher" "I'd like to publish your book. All it needs are a few minor changes." "Make the main character a purple dinosaur instead of a detective. Add some upbeat songs and eliminate the murder." "It's a murder mystery!!" "Oh, that's original."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bob, #budget analyst, #delegate, #dinosaur, #engineers, #find dumber customers, #letter, #marketing genius, #new vp, #senior mangement, #wedgies

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Bob the dinosaur; gives wedgies to corporate people who deserve it. Budget analyst I don't understand any of our projects, I cut the ones with "E" In their names. BOB: What was that letter? analysts: EEEE! Engineers Wally: we doubled our costs, to add back up systems. Dilbert: You ant be too careful. Bob: two at once. In case one enjoys it. Wally: MMMM Marketing genius Market segmentation is the key. Dont improve the product just find dumber customers! Senior management BOB: These guys know how to delegate! You're the new VP of wedgies.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 1994's comic on:


Tags #voice controlled computer, #envious, #mouse driven, #color printer denied, #delete a file, #curses

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wally: "?" Dilbert: "Expand...window." Wally: "Well, look who got a voice-controlled computer." Dilbert: "Insert...column." wally: "If I were a lesser engineer I might be envious." dilbert: "Add...row." Wally: "I don't mind using my prehistoric mouse-driven computer." "And I'm not bitter about my request for a color printer being denied." "At least I won't work all day then accidently..." "DELETE...A FILE!!" Dilbert: "#!@%%&" Wally: "Please...not in front of the computer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #business project, #business meeting, #aruba

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Wally and Dilbert stand at the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to manage Wally's project while he's on vacation in Aruba." The Boss thinks, "Let the shirk-fest games begin." Dilbert asks, "Isn't that the week when everything is due?" Wally says, "Coincidence." Dilbert says to Wally, "Maybe you could change your plans." Wally holds up his airline tickets and says, "Non-refundable tickets right here!" Dilbert says, "The project can't be important if you won't change your plans." Wally thinks, "He's GOOD." Dilbert tells the Boss, "I'll be happy to add Wally's project to the bottom of my pile and let it fail with Wally's name on it." Dilbert tells Wally, "When you're in Aruba, study the waiters carefully - it's probably your new career." The Boss thinks, "Two free tickets to Aruba - I win."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #neuroscience

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Dogbert and Ratbert sit on the hassock. Dogbert asks, "Ratbert, did you know that your brain automatically coordinates millions of activities every second?" Dogbert says, "Imagine if it got just a little bit confused - all those neurons firing randomly . . ." Ratbert waves his arms and legs uncontrollably. Dogbert says, "You don't add much to a conversation, but you're easily the best listener I've ever met." Ratbert screams as he falls off the hassock.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #patent, #co workers

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Alice asks, "Dilbert, would you add my name to your patent application?" Dilbert asks, "Why should I?" Alice replies, "I would consider upgrading your status from 'co-worker' to 'friend I never see outside of work.'" Dilbert asks, "Would we eat lunch together?" Alice replies, "No, but I'll pencil you in and cancel at the last minute."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #computer, #patent

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Add my name to your patent application to acknowledge my contribution." Dilbert asks, "What contribution?" Dilbert says, "You said it was a stupid idea by a stupid employee. You ordered me to stop working on it." The Boss says, "Devil's advocate!" Dilbert adds, "You also said I was ugly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #man, #zombies, #coffee, #office

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Dogbert stands on top of a beverage container and says, "To be a zombie you must drink the zombie elixir." Dogbert continues, "The zombie elixir will remove any distracting thoughts of sleep or family life." A man looks in his mug and says, "It looks like coffee." Dogbert holds a giant spoon of sugar and says, "You have to add one scoop of zombie sugar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #zombies, #squash, #creativity, #facial, #expression, #comprehension, #marketing, #fear

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Dogbert stands in front of an audience and says, "The successful zombie knows how to squash the creativity of co-workers." Dogbert points to a picture of a man with bags under his eyes and says, "When you hear a new idea, adopt a facial expression which conveys both fear and an utter lack of comprehension." Dogbert continues, "Those of you who work in marketing only need to add the fear part." Someone asks, "Why is that?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #report, #sentence, #micro-robotics, #dead-end, #technology, #opposite, #confusing, #senseless, #scenario, #win-win

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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Good report . . . But add a sentence that says micro-robotics is a dead-end technology." Dilbert replies, "But that's the exact opposite of my point! If I add that, the whole report would be a confusing and senseless waste of time!" The Boss says, "That's okay. We just won't let anybody else see it." Dilbert asks, "Is this a win-win scenario?"