At Odds With Words Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for At Odds With Words

View 111 - 120 results for at odds with words comic strips. Discover the best "At Odds With Words" comics from Dilbert.com.

Decisions Without Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Decisions Without Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decision, #managers & supervisors, #business, #time, #compile, #facts, #guess, #career

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert with face mask: i need a quick decision on this, but i don't have time to compile the relevant facts. boss with face mask: without facts, i would just be guessing. dilbert: it won't affect your career average. boss: why wouldn't it? dilbert: let's change the subject.

Sending Data To Elbonia

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sending Data To Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #proprietary, #data, #elbonia, #internet, #monitor, #activity, #conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

boss with face mask: our security team says you have been sending our proprietary data to elbonia. elbonian with face mask: you can't prove that. boss: i monitor all of your internet activities. elbonian: i monitor all of your internet activity, too. boss: then let's forget we had this conversation.

Dilbert Hates Safety

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Hates Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #safety, #anger, #yelling, #statistics, #flaw, #authority, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: your method of calculating the safety statistics is flawed. monkey man: wow. wait until i tell everyone you don't think safety matters. dilbert: i...didn't say that. i'm talking about the way you measured it. monkey man yelling: it's too late to walk it back now! dilbert: i'm not "walking it back." i'm clarifying. monkey man: there's nothing to clarify, you hate safety. dilbert yelling and waving arms: stop putting words in my mouth!! i'm a better authority on what i think than you are!!! boss in hallway: what was all that yelling about? monkey man: dilbert thinks safety doesn't matter.

Alice Borrows Stapler

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Borrows Stapler - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office supplies, #face mask, #borrow, #stapler, #paper clip, #coronavirus, #germs

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice wearing face mask: can I borrow your stapler? Dilbert wearing face mask: not with your bare hands. but i can wrap it in plastic and leave a hole for the staples to come out. Alice: maybe you can just lend me a paper clip. dilbert: i'll throw it to you.

Social Distancing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Social Distancing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #eighties, #health, #hug, #managers & supervisors, #practice, #social distancing, #virus, #coronavirus

View Transcript

Transcript

boss with face mask: wally, i need you to practice "social distancing" until the virus risk has passed. wally: i already do that. i haven't hugged anyone since the eighties. boss: good job. high-five. wally: back off.

Great Job For Someone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Great Job For Someone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #job, #opening, #private, #office, #opportunity, #background, #rid

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i hear there's a great job opening in operations for someone with your background. big salary, private office. looks like a great opportunity for you. office worker: are you trying to get rid of me? dilbert: not in a way you are suppose to notice.

Show Interest In Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Show Interest In Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appointment, #business, #doctor, #employees, #hate, #interest, #leave, #life, #managers & supervisors, #prank, #question

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i have a doctor appointment. boss: what's wrong with you? alice yelling: that's none of your stinkin' business! stay our of my life! boss to catbert: didn't you advise me to show interest in my employees? catbert: i was pranking you. they hate that.

Poster Of Our Values

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Poster Of Our Values - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #business, #poster, #values, #room, #forgot, #steal, #guess, #break room

View Transcript

Transcript

boss at conference room table: i hope you all saw the poster i put in the break room with our list of values. dilbert: i didn't see it. what are our values? boss: i don't remember. wally: are we allowed to steal? dilbert: i don't think so, but i'm guessing.

Loving Yourself

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Loving Yourself  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #philosophy, #self love, #evil, #ignorant, #selfish, #lazy, #love

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: philosophers say loving yourself is the greatest love of all. carol: do philosophers really say that? boss: all the good ones do. after years of trying, i have finally learned to love myself. carol: i'm no philosopher, but instead of learning to love yourself the way you are... wouldn't it be better if you learned how to stop being an evil, ignorant, selfish piece of garbage. boss: that sounds a lot harder. carol: in other words, you are lazy. boss: i love that about me!

Asok Confidence

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Confidence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asok, #business, #co-workers, #confidence, #enough, #fake, #room, #test

View Transcript

Transcript

ask: you know what's wrong with this room? not enough of me in it. that's what. dilbert: are you testing your fake confidence? asok: is it working?