Boss Aprroaches Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Boss Aprroaches

View 111 - 120 results for boss aprroaches comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Aprroaches" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Designs Headphones

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Designs Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design, #business, #headphones, #maximum, #customer, #annoyance, #charging, #port, #guess, #incorrect, #frustration, #fit, #customers, #ship, #user

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i've designed these over-ear headphones for maximum customer annoyance. the charging port is only on one side, so the user has a fifty percent chance of guessing wrong. and the charger only fits if you put it right-side up. to increase the frustration, i made the plug look the same on both sides. best of all, the plug is so poorly designed that half the time it doesn't seem to fit, even when you put it in correctly. i made the headphones black, so you can't easily find the charger hole in low light. ninety percent of users will be cursing us every time they try to recharge. customers won't know any of this until after they purchase. boss: ship it.

Dilbert Characters

Social Distancing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Social Distancing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #eighties, #health, #hug, #managers & supervisors, #practice, #social distancing, #virus, #coronavirus

View Transcript

Transcript

boss with face mask: wally, i need you to practice "social distancing" until the virus risk has passed. wally: i already do that. i haven't hugged anyone since the eighties. boss: good job. high-five. wally: back off.

Elbonian Factory Problem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Factory Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #report, #factory, #elbonia, #problem, #lost, #power, #main, #floor, #employees, #scared, #trip, #dark, #gas, #line, #accident, #crater, #capital, #explosion, #unsympathetic

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: we have some problems in our elbonian factory. boss: how bad? dilbert: they lost power on the main floor. boss: that's not so bad. dilbert: the employees were scared. boss: they'll get over it. dilbert: one of them tripped in the dark. boss: big deal. dilbert: he accidentally opened a gas line. boss: a little gas never hurt anyone. dilbert: now there's a crater where the capital city used to be. boss and dilbert just looking at each other boss: let's keep an eye on that.

Rot From The Inside

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Rot From The Inside - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #work, #ethic, #abysmal, #loan, #project, #hate, #rot, #idea, #raise

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: wally, your work ethic is abysmal. you're fired. wally: wouldn't it make more sense to loan me to a project you hate, so i can rot it from the inside? boss: that's not your worst idea. wally: is a raise out of the question?

Show Interest In Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Show Interest In Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appointment, #business, #doctor, #employees, #hate, #interest, #leave, #life, #managers & supervisors, #prank, #question

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i have a doctor appointment. boss: what's wrong with you? alice yelling: that's none of your stinkin' business! stay our of my life! boss to catbert: didn't you advise me to show interest in my employees? catbert: i was pranking you. they hate that.

Poster Of Our Values

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Poster Of Our Values - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #business, #poster, #values, #room, #forgot, #steal, #guess, #break room

View Transcript

Transcript

boss at conference room table: i hope you all saw the poster i put in the break room with our list of values. dilbert: i didn't see it. what are our values? boss: i don't remember. wally: are we allowed to steal? dilbert: i don't think so, but i'm guessing.

Working On Vacation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Working On Vacation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #work, #vacation, #scold, #enjoy, #behind, #train, #broken

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: do you mind if i come to work on my vacation days? i hate being scolded for being behind in my work more that i enjoy taking vacations. boss: it seems i have trained you well. dilbert: no, i'm just broken.

Loving Yourself

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Loving Yourself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #philosophy, #self love, #evil, #ignorant, #selfish, #lazy, #love

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: philosophers say loving yourself is the greatest love of all. carol: do philosophers really say that? boss: all the good ones do. after years of trying, i have finally learned to love myself. carol: i'm no philosopher, but instead of learning to love yourself the way you are... wouldn't it be better if you learned how to stop being an evil, ignorant, selfish piece of garbage. boss: that sounds a lot harder. carol: in other words, you are lazy. boss: i love that about me!

Tina Sues Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Sues Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #lawyer, #sexist, #jokes, #not, #Funny, #illegal, #unfunny, #criminally, #last, #know

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i've contacted my lawyer to sue you for your sexist jokes. your humor is not funny, and there's a good chance it is illegal. boss to catbert: i just learned that i am criminally not funny. catbert: you're always the last to know.

Mind Control

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mind Control - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #Dogbert, #slump, #sales, #clone, #product, #shoddy, #mind, #control, #legal, #notice

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: my team of dogbert clones has reversed your slumping sales. your products are still shoddy, but we use mind control to make people not notice. it's all perfectly legal. boss: i wasn't going to ask.