Call Wife Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

590 Results for Call Wife

View 111 - 120 results for call wife comic strips. Discover the best "Call Wife" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health, #morning, #waking up, #sleepless, #complaining, #manager, #sociopath, #emotions

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you take a call with our Elbonian customers at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Dilbert: Sure. All I need to do is put my health at risk by not getting enough sleep tonight. Of course, I'll hate your guts for making me come to work so early. And I would expect my bad attitude to infect my co-workers and make them less productive, too. My lack of sleep will affect my decision-making, obviously. And I"m working on important projects, so the ripple effect could be catastrophic. So, do you still want me to be here at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Boss: Yes. You don't have to be a sociopath to be a manager, but it helps.

Acting Interested In Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Acting Interested In Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #relationships, #human, #humanity, #productivity, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm supposed to act interested in your well-being to boost your job performance. Dilbert: No thanks. Boss: So... how's your wife, or girlfriend, or same-sex partner, or loneliness? Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Okay, I think that covers it. Dilbert: Look! My productivity is soaring!

Tina Agrees To Be Work Wife

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Agrees To Be Work Wife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #spouse, #wife, #insult, #mean, #game, #obliviousness, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice doesn't want to be my work-wife. How about you? Tina; As your work-wife, would I be able to jokingly insult you in front of the others? Boss: Sure, ha ha! Tina: Okay, I'm in. Now run along, you ignorant sack of wet fertilizer. Boss: This is fun!

Boss Wants Alice To Be His Work Wife

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Wants Alice To Be His Work Wife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wife, #spouse, #work, #creep, #relationships, #repulsive

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I decided to call you my work-wife. Alice: Gurk. I"m creeped out! I'm creeped out! I'm creeped out! Boss: Just like at home. Alice: I need a shower.

Dogbert Discovers Dogbertium

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Discovers Dogbertium - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #science, #discovery, #trick, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: My particle accelerator has discovered a new fundamental particle that I call "Dogbertium." It's properties are awesomeness and mystery. One of the mysteries is that it only exists when people don't ask too many questions.

Mom Drone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mom Drone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drone, #surveillance, #mom, #mothers, #spying

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Hey, you have one of those cool selfie drones! Dilbert: No, I keep forgetting to call my mom, so she sent a drone to watch me. Asok: Is that legal? Dilbert: I checked. It's not trespassing unless it lands.

The Boss's Wife

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Boss's Wife  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #inventions, #engineering, #Women, #moods, #moody

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The Nobel Prize Committee nominated you for your block of wood that imitates human intelligence? I wonder what the block of wood thinks about that. Wally: It's in a bad mood and not talking. Boss: Did you model that thing after my wife? Wally: Now you've insulted it.

Wally Builds An Mvp Version

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Builds An Mvp Version - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ai, #technology, #fake, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I built a minimum viable product, or MVP, as I like to call it. Boss: That's a block of wood. Wally: I call it "Artificial Intelligence." Ask it any question. Boss: What is my middle name? Wally: It's being shy, just like people. Boss: It has emotions,too?

Tina's Criticism

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina's Criticism - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work spouse, #wife, #wives, #criticism, #nagging, #Women, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: As your work wife, I have some constructive criticism for you. Dilbert: Great. Tina: You'd be more attractive if you were taller, I just realized I don't know the difference between constructive criticism and the regular kind.

Dilbert Breaks Up With Work Wife

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Breaks Up With Work Wife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Women, #wives, #wife, #work spouse, #game, #scam, #ruse, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Alice, I am breaking up with you as my work wife. Tina complains less and she sends me on fewer errands, so I choose her. Alice: What's your game? Tina: I'm running a bait-and-switch on him.