Check Comic Strips - Page 12
147 Results for Check
View 111 - 120 results for check comic strips. Discover the best "Check" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share February 22, 1996's comic on:
The caption says, "Somewhere in Elbonia." Dilbert says to two Elbonians, "I've been assigned to check the software you're writing for us under contract." One Elbonian says, "The documentation is written in our own Elbonian language." The other asks, "Is that a problem?" Dilbert says, "That's better than I'd hoped. I was afraid nobody here knew how to write." An Elbonian responds, "Writing is easy. Someday we hope to read, too."
Share February 10, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert lies on the couch looking worried and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dilbert says, "I have too many passwords in my life. What if I forget them?" Dogbert's ears fly up and he shouts, "You'd lose your job! You wouldn't be able to withdraw money or check phone messages! You'd be dead in a week!" Dilbert's hair and tie fly up and he says, "That would have been a good time to be quietly supportive, Dogbert." Dogbert responds, "Oh, yeah, that's a lot of fun."
Share December 11, 1995's comic on:
The Boss hands his secretary a document and says, "Send this by e-mail." The Boss continues, "Fax it, too, in case he doesn't check his e-mail. And mail the original so he has a clean copy." As the Boss walks away, the secretary says, "Goodbye 'paperless,' hello 'clueless.'"
Share November 26, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert stands at the security desk. The guard hands a vendor a visitor's badge and says, "Badge." The man thinks, "The clever salesman evaluates his prey." Dilbert pushes the elevator button. The man thinks, "I hope he's an important decision-maker." Dilbert tells the salesperson, "Take any seat. I call the good chair." The man thinks, "Warning! Cubicle! Low-ranking employee!" Dilbert draws a diagram and says, "Here's our organization chart: president . . . senior vice president . . . vice president . . ." Dilbert continues, "Okay, lift your foot. Do you see that coffee stain on the carpet?" The vendor asks, "That's you?" Dilbert replies, "No, that's my boss. I would be under the carpet." The salesman asks, "Do I have any hope of talking to somebody who can make a decision?" Dilbert replies, "Let me check." Dilbert peers over the wall into Wally's cubicle and says, "Hey, Wally, what's a 'decision'?" Wally replies, "It sounds like something our competitors do." The salesman covers his eyes and sobs.
Share October 28, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert hums as he stacks binders outside the door of his cubicle. Wally says, "It looks like somebody is using binders to illegally increase the size of his cubicle." Wally says angrily, "You think your status will increase with your cubicle size, don't you! Well, it won't work!" The Boss walks over, hands Dilbert a check and says, "Here's a raise. I don't know why." A woman whispers to Wally, "Pssst. Is he seeing anybody?" Wally growls, "RRRR."
Share August 22, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert approaches a window labeled "Soul Check" where a clerk who looks like a demon is standing. He says to the clerk behind the window, "If it's okay, I'll hold onto my soul while I visit the accounting department." Dilbert is in the accounting department, talking to another demonlike clerk seated at a desk. Dilbert says, "I came to answer your questions about my expense report." The clerk replies, "Take a seat." Dilbert notices there are no seats, but only sharp, pointed stalagmites and stalactites in the cavelike room. He thinks to himself, "I don't like the way this is starting."
Share August 20, 1995's comic on:
The Boss walks by and Dilbert says to him, "Please don't promise the product manager more than we can deliver." The product manager says to the Boss, "We need a totally new software interface in one month." The Boss replies, "You got it!" The woman continues, "And rewrite the operating system so we dominate the industry." The Boss says, "Concurrent development. Check." The woman thinks, "Suddenly I feel omnipotent." She stands up and says, "I want all new hardware, anti-gravity packaging, holographic agents . . ." The Boss yawns. The manager asks, "Can your team really do that in a month?" The Boss replies, "Let me get their reaction." The Boss shows Wally a document. Wally screams and his skull pops out of his mouth. Wally lies on the floor twitching. The Boss says, "Pessimism will not look good on your permformance review."
Share July 30, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. Wally stands behind him and says, "Our new VP says he has an 'open door policy.' Let's check it out." Wally and Dilbert peer into the VP's office. Dilbert says, "Knock knock." Dilbert says, "Hi ho. Nothing important. We just wanted to drop in." The VP sits at his desk reading a document. Wally says, "This open door policy is great. Our last VP was aloof." Dilbert asks, "Are those sourballs?" Wally says, "Look at the furniture in here!" Dilbert stuffs candy into his mouth and says, "I call couch!" The VP asks, "Is there something I can do for you?" Dilbert lies on a couch and says, "Well . . . Sometimes our cubicles are too hot." Wally sits in a chair and adds, "Could you have somebody look into it?" Dilbert and Wally leave the office looking frightened. Dilbert says, "Boy, those sourballs sure lull you into a false sense of security." Wally says, "The man is like a huge insincere spider."
Share May 11, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert, Wally and another man sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert looks at the check and says, "We could simply divide the check by three . . ." The waitress thinks, "Uh-oh. Engineers." Dilbert continues, "But that would result in an unpopular subsidy of Wally's salmon. Does anybody have a calculator-watch?" The caption says, "Hours later." The other engineer says to the waitress as she approaches the table with a pitcher, "This is the tie-breaker round of water to decide if you get 13% or 13.5%." The waitress growls, "RRRR."
Share April 02, 1995's comic on:
The Boss tells Wally and Dilbert, "I'd like you guys to check Anne's advertising materials for technical accuracy." Wally, Dilbert and Anne sit at a conference table. Wally reads the ad copy and asks, "Is this supposed to be funny?" Dilbert says, "I don't get it." Anne says, "I'm only looking for technical help here." Wally says, "Hey! Maybe you could say something about those warning tags on mattresses! Now THAT would be funny!" Anne covers her eyes and leans on the table. Dilbert says, "Or how about the fact that you can't look up something in the dictionary if you can't spell it? THAT's funny!" Anne stands up and screams, "You're engineers, not comedians!! I want TECHNICAL help!!!" Wally says, "This guy has an XP-6. It should be an XP-7." Anne says, "That's better." Wally adds, "And he should be saying, 'I've fallen and I can't get up.'" Dilbert asks, "Who picked these colors?"