Company Comic Strips - Page 12

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882 Results for Company

View 111 - 120 results for company comic strips. Discover the best "Company" comics from Dilbert.com.

No Walking Away

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No Walking Away - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human resources, policy, conversation, ideas, management, strategy, politeness, etiquette, business

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Boss: The company has a new politeness policy. It is no longer acceptable to turn and walk away while a co-worker is in the middle of telling you something. Dilbert: That will add months to my project. Alice: I'm selling all of my company stock.

Wally Offended Everyone

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Wally Offended Everyone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags offense, offensive, sensitivity, political correctness, politically correct

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Boss: Wally, I"m getting reports that you have offended every single employee in this company in the past week. Wally: Have I offended you? Boss: No, I"m not a sensitive idiot like the rest of them. Wally: Doesn't that mean the problem is on their end? Boss: That doesn't matter as much as you think it should.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags space, cubicle, conference room, office, sharing, obstinacy

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Dilbert: I have this conference room booked for a meeting. Alice: This is my private office now. I took it over. Dilbert: You can't just take over a conference room. Alice: I already did. It was easy. Now all I need to do is act as if it would be totally unreasonable to ask me to leave. Dilbert: You need to leave. I have this room reserved. Alice: That's totally unreasonable! I'm all settled in and I'm working on a company-critical deadline! Dilbert: I guess I could cancel my meeting. Alice: Perfect. Now get out of my office.

Robot Lawyer Writes Gibberish

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Robot Lawyer Writes Gibberish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags chair, conversation, meeting, robot, sue, table, business

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Boss: We replaced our company lawyer with a robot. Boss: It already rewrote all of our contracts into gibberish. Dilbert: Do we want that? Boss: I tried to ask, but it threatened to sue me.

Wally's Coffee Ideas

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Wally's Coffee Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coffee, obsession, caffeine, decaf, competition, thinking, intelligence

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Wally: I recommend buying the company that supplies coffee to our biggest competitor. We'll replace their regular coffee with decaf enjoy a solid 20-point I.Q. advantage over them. Boss: Do all of your ideas involve coffee. Wally: Only the good ones.

Strategy Document

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Strategy Document - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags strategy, obliviousness, insult

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Dilbert: I saw your email about destroying the company. Boss: Huh? The only email I sent you was my strategy for the coming year. Dilbert: Well, maybe I read it too fast.

Asok Agrees To Be Hit Man

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Asok Agrees To Be Hit Man - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social media, twitter, public speaking, embarrassment, spokesperson, killing, racism, assumption, technology

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Boss: Our company spokesperson embarrassed us on social media. Does this qualify him for an "honor killing?" Asok: No, and you're a racist. Boss: Here's what he said on social media. Asok: Okay, I'm in.

Bought His Last Company

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Bought His Last Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags comparison, comparing, merger, acquisition, liquidation, layoff, redundancy, big business, competition, darwin

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Man: That's now how we did it at my prior company. Boss: We bought your old company, fired all of the employees, and discontinued all of its products. Man: How is that possible? Boss: It's called "survival of the fittest." It's just science.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engagement, review, shortcut, honesty, human resources, hr, business

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Boss: How's your employee engagement coming along? Dilbert: I'll make you a deal... I'll pretend I'm happy to be here if you pretend you believe it. Boss: I need more than that. I also want you to pretend you're loyal to the company. Dilbert: I can do that, if you pretend you're interested in my career development. Boss: Can we do all of that without talking? Dilbert: That's the best way. Boss: My job was a lot harder before I figured out all the shortcuts.

Internet Wants Ceo To Die

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Internet Wants Ceo To Die - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, shame, unpopular, popularity, public relations, gawker

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CEO: The company we acquired is making us look bad. Dilbert: How bad? CEO: The internet is demanding that I drink poison and apologize to the world while I die. What should I do? Dilbert: Well, I'm no doctor, but I'd go with something fast-acting.