Crazy Boss Comic Strips - Page 12
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1000 Results for Crazy Boss
View 111 - 120 results for crazy boss comic strips. Discover the best "Crazy Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 19,
2019
Complaints About Wally
Tags #business, #complaint, #office, #office workers, #productivity
Transcript
the boss: wally, i received 43 complaints that you have been clipping your toenails in the office. the boss: you have single-handedly destroyed all productivity on the floor. wally: in my defense, it takes two hands if you count the one holding the toe.
Thursday April 18,
2019
Using Git
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #code, #developer
Transcript
the boss: i'm hearing that none of your code has been implemented. why are you so unproductive? dilbert: your new lead developer doesn't know how to use git and he keeps overwriting my patches. the boss: i don't know what any of that means. dilbert: well, thank you for stopping by.
Monday April 15,
2019
Potluck Celebration
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #potluck, #friday, #team, #celebration
Transcript
the boss in meeting: i scheduled a potluck to celebrate the team's success. dilbert: a potluck is more like a penalty than a celebration. dilbert: but i guess it's better than working. the boss: it starts at 8 pm on friday.
Sunday April 14,
2019
Wally Plans His Retirement
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #retirement, #profit
Transcript
wally: the product i'm developing will be unprofitable for the first none years, but revenue will surge in the tenth. the boss: didn't you tell me you plan to retire in nine years? wally: maybe. the boss: you will be happily retired before we find out if profits really do surge in year ten. the boss: that makes everything you say sound suspicious. wally: numbers don't lie. the boss: who came up with the numbers? wally: that's all the time we have for questions.
Saturday April 13,
2019
Asok Tries To Fax
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #fax
Transcript
the boss: asok, i need you to fax this to the supplier. asok: i'll get right on it! asok to wally: what's a fax?
Friday April 12,
2019
How Long Will It Take
Tags #computer software, #office, #office workers
Transcript
the boss: how long will it take to fix the bug? dilbert: that depends. how long will you stand behind me and interrupt me? the boss: how should i know? i can't see the future?
Thursday April 11,
2019
Keyboard Clicks
Tags #business, #cell phone, #office, #office workers
Transcript
alice: i noticed you have your keyboard click sounds activated. i've been listening to it all morning. the boss holding cell phone: i don't know how to make it stop. alice: i'll show you. frame shows outside of office building with phone being thrown out window.
Wednesday April 10,
2019
Alice Won't Shake Hands
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #presentation, #germs
Transcript
the boss attempting a handshake: great job on the presentation. alice: i prefer to avoid contact with that festering germ colony you call a hand. the boss: okay. better safe than sorry. alice: and could you face backward when you talk to me?
Tuesday April 09,
2019
Post Mortem
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #project, #idiots
Transcript
the boss around a conference table: let's do a post-mortem on our failed project to see what we did wrong. dilbert: we allowed idiots to make decisions. the boss: you say that every time. dilbert: i haven't been wrong yet.
Monday April 08,
2019
Offensive Product Name
Tags #business, #insults, #office, #office workers, #elbonian
Transcript
dilbert: our product name turns out to be offensive in the elbonian language. dilbert: it means "one who rips off his own facial hair and feeds it to a baby bird, which chokes and dies, signaling years of drought." the boss: that's all in one word? dilbert: they only have seventeen words, and nine of them are insults.