Create Lies Comic Strips - Page 12

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233 Results for Create Lies

View 111 - 120 results for create lies comic strips. Discover the best "Create Lies" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 1999's comic on:


Tags #peggy pr dircetor, #press release, #technical accuracy, #trained squirrel, #run on sentences, #transparent lies, #spelling grammar, #errors, #criticism stronger

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The Boss and a woman approach Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is Peggy the P.R. Director." The Boss continues, "I want you to review her press release for technical accuracy." Peggy presents a document to Dilbert. Dilbert sits and reads it. Peggy watches his reaction. Dilbert asks, "Who wrote this? A trained squirrel?" He continues, "I don't know where to begin." Peggy gets angry as Dilbert takes a pen to the press release. Dilbert says, "I'll cross out the run-on sentences and transparent lies first." Dilbert continues, "Then the failed attempts at cuteness... the spelling errors... grammar." Dilbert returns the press release to a Peggy, who is furious. Dilbert adds, "There you go. Remember, criticism makes you stronger." Dilbert is at home how, clothes torn to shreds, arm in a sling, head bandaged. To Dogbert, he says, "It was a mistake to make her stronger."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 1999's comic on:


Tags #scapegoat, #bang, #aiming for messenger, #own fault

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Dilbert sits down at a meeting next to a goat. Dilbert says, "Who are you?" The goat says, "I'm a scapegoat." There is the "bang" of gun. The scapegoat lies feet up on the floor. The boss, who carries a large rifle, says, "Oops. I was aiming for the messenger." Dilbert says, "It's his fault for being here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 1999's comic on:


Tags #false humility, #week, #without using, #experience joy, #long week

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Dilbert eats chips at home. Dogbert says, "Do you think that I have too much false humility?" Dilbert says, "Try going a week withou using any false humilty, so I can see the differrnce" Dogbert wears a crown and stands over Dilber who lies under the covers in bed. Dogbert says, "Wake up, you piece of fetid carp, and experiance the joy of knowing Dogbert!!!" Dilbert thinks, "This could be a long week."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 1999's comic on:


Tags #venture capitalists, #web based business, #lazy, #dishonest, #create, #accounting irregularities, #energy, #health

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Wally walks into Dilbert's cubicle holding a huge bag of money. Wally has long hair pulled back into a ponytail. Wally says, "Venture capitalists gave me money to start a web-based business." Dilbert says, "Do they know that you're lazy and dishonest?" Wally says, "It didn't come up." Dilbert says, "What'll you create... besides accounting irregularities?" Wally says, "That's all I have the energy for."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 1998's comic on:


Tags #boss in hospital, #no brain function, #still talking, #double length meetings, #accomplish twice as much

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The boss lies in a hospital bed. The boss is hooked up to complicated looking machine. A docter stands next to the machine. The doctor says, "The accident left him with no brain function whatsoever." The doctor says, "But that hasn't stopped him from talking." Dilbert says, "I'll drive him back to work." Dilbert drives the Boss. The Boss says, "If I double the length of our staff meetings, we'll accomplish twice as much!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 1998's comic on:


Tags #alice, #recipient, #of stone of quality, #motivational rock, #says thanks, #costs engraved, #knocks out boss, #police arrive, #find rock

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Alice sits at the computer. The Boss hands her a rock. The boss says, "Alice, you're the first recipient of the motivational "stone of quality"." The boss says, "It cost a thousand dollars to have it engraved. It's my way of saying "thanks"." The boss lies on the floor with a large bump on his head. Two cops lean over him. Alice peers around the corner. One of the cops, "There's no weapon, but I found this cool motivational rock."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #snoring, #bed, #use both nostrils, #enjoy yelling

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Dilbert lies in bed, under the covers. Dogbert stands on Dilbert's stomach. Dogbert says, "I can no longer hold this inside." Dogbert says, "You call that breathing??! Get the other nostril involved!" Dogbert walks away. Dogbert wags his tail. Dogbert thinks, "I wonder if he'll ever realize that I just enjoy yelling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 1998's comic on:


Tags #assign priority, #chance in a million, #process voucher, #you're a one, #long process, #lies

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Wally hands Carol a piece of paper. Wally says, "How long will it take to process my voucher?" Carol says, "I assign a priority to everyone. I'm happy to say you're a 'one'." Carol sits in front of her computer. Carol thinks, "One chance in a million."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 1998's comic on:


Tags #digital archive, #worlds greatest art, #fix the errors, #artists, #errors, #too much blue

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The boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at the conference table. The boss says, "We won the bid to create a digital archive of the world's greatest art." The boss says, "This will give us a chance to fix any errors made by the artists." Wally says, "Errors?" The boss says, "For example, there was a guy who used too much blue for a whole period."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 1998's comic on:


Tags #important conference, #creat interaction, #local and global issues, #being sarcastic, #sounds exciting

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Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I'm going to a very important conference." Dogbert asks, "What's it for?" Dilbert replies, "The brochure says the goal is to 'create interaction around local and global issues of the coming century'." Dogbert perks his ears up. Annoyed, Dilbert says, "You're being sarcastic with your ears agin." Dogbert says, "It sounds so exciting!"