Danville Font Software Comic Strips - Page 12

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300 Results for Danville Font Software

View 111 - 120 results for danville font software comic strips. Discover the best "Danville Font Software" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #civil liberties, #surveillance, #arrested dilbert, #stealing data, #spy software, #givernement

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Wally: The government arrested Dilbert for stealing back the data their spy software stole from us. Alice: Whose side are we on? Wally: Well, I'm not crazy about the government. Alice: But Dilbert can be a pain in the Spanx, too. Wally: Have you ever tried apathy? It's awesome.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #civil liberties, #law enforcement officers, #surveillance, #stole sensitive info, #spy software, #stealing back

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NSA Agent: You hacked into a government database and stole sensitive information. Dilbert: Technically, it was my company's information that your spy software stole first. I was just stealing it back. So we're good here, right? NSA Agent: Yeah, that's how it works.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #lawyers, #software, #license, #legal dept, #services, #email, #open source, #definsition, #forge signature, #software license, #engineering

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Boss: Can you approve the purchase of this software? Boss: You need to run the software license past legal first. Lawyer: You need to fill out a legal services request form. I'll email it to you. Make sure you specify whether the software is open source or not. Dilbert: How would I know if it meets your definition of open source? Lawyer: It depends how the license is written. You'll need to ask legal to review it. Dilbert: Never mind. I'll just forge your signature on the form. Lawyer: Maybe this is why I've never seen a software license.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #obliviousness, #sales personnel, #software, #third party library, #new version, #windows, #engineering

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Dilbert: The software you sold us stopped working after a week. What's up with that? Salesman: We use a third-party library, and it isn't compatible with the new version of Windows. Dilbert: And...? Salesman: We appreciate your business?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #computer programmers, #code mocking, #engineering tradition, #software project, #new engineer, #mock previous engineer, #engineering

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Dilbert: Are you coming to the code mocking? Asok: The what? Dilbert: Code mocking is an engineering tradition. It happens whenever a software project is handed to a new engineer. The new engineer is required to mock the previous engineer's work in a public way. We spectators get to vote on whether the old code is killed or spared. Coworker: Ha ha! His code is hilariously inefficient! Ouch. Chest pain. Dilbert: Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Coworker: Gaaa!! The code is offending my engineering sensibilities! It's killing me! Dilbert: I forgot to mention that sometimes the code wins.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #nuclear rocket, #engineers, #blast astroid, #collsion, #approved corporate font, #launch window, #moon

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Boss: Our engineers built a nuclear rocket to blast an incoming asteroid out of its collision course with Earth. But we didn't use the approved corporate font on the nose cone and we missed the launch window trying to erase it. Now what are we going to do with a nuclear rocket? CEO: Well, the moon has always been a jerk.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #joking, #new software, #interrupt you, #carpal tunnel, #replace humans

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Boss: The new software will interrupt you every five minutes so you don't get carpal tunnel. Dilbert: Aren't you worried the software will replace you? hee-hee! Boss: I don't get that. Dilbert: That's why it's funny.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #software changes, #reflexively disagree, #reasonable

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Dilbert: Did you make the software changes I suggested? Coworker: No, because I reflexively disagree with ever suggestion that anyone ever makes. Dilbert: You're very reasonable. Coworker: No, I'm a total jer... wait, what did you just do there?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #charitable organizations, #have a dream, #recycled software, #busy week, #recycled, #old software, #math programs

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Wally: I had a busy week. I recycled all of our old software and donated the zeroes and ones to math programs in poor towns. My dream is that someday every child will be able to count to one.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new year's day, #optimism, #network down, #bad new years day, #good year

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Dilbert: A fresh new year is upon us and I am brimming with optimism. Ugh. Our network at work is down because my pointy-haired boss wouldn't let me upgrade the software. Now I need to work all night to fix it. Maybe this means the next 364 days will be extra awesome. Dogbert: Yeah. That's how it works.