Dogbert Comic Strips - Page 12

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1000 Results for Dogbert

View 111 - 120 results for dogbert comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert" comics from Dilbert.com.

Adding Insult To Injury

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Adding Insult To Injury  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, tech support, customer, calls, interface, reboot, idiot

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boss: i hired the dogbert tech support team to help with customer calls because our user interface is so sadistic. dilbert: wouldn't that be adding insult to injury? boss: how so? dogbert in a office at a desk yelling: try rebooting, you idiot. and don't call again!

Humans Getting Wiser

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Humans Getting Wiser - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, psychology, humans, dumb, selfish, wise, interact, people

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dilbert: the more i interact with people, the less i like them. i can't tell if i'm getting wiser or humans are becoming dumber and more selfish. dogbert: humans couldn't get any dumber or more selfish. dilbert: so, you're saying i'm getting wiser?

Flag Me When You Are Done

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Flag Me When You Are Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office work, flag, burden, rude, business

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dogbert: i find it a burden to listen to you. maybe you could wave this flag to signal when you are done talking just in case i want to say something. dilbert: you are very rude. dogbert: flag me when you are done with whatever this is.

Dark Matter Identified

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Dark Matter Identified - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags philosophy, stupidity, dark, matter, universe, abundant, obvious

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dilbert: they say 85% of the matter in the universe is dark matter, and we don't even know what that is. dogbert: well, if it's the most abundant thing in the universe, it has to be made of stupidity. dilbert: why wasn't that obvious to me? dogbert: because you're 85% dark matter

Dogbert's Sensitivity Training

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Dogbert's Sensitivity Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, class, training, sensitivity, offend, kill, hour

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dogbert: welcome to dogcart's sensitivity training dogbert passing out papers: today you will learn how to never offend anyone ever again class including dilbert: are you going to kill us? dogbert: no, no, no. after an hour of this class, you'll want to do it yourself.

Dogbert Designed The Simulation

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Dogbert Designed The Simulation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, simulation, creator, three dimensional, avatar, truth, made

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dogbert: i didn't want to tell you this, but you're a simulation designed by a three-dimensional creator. and i'm an avatar used by your creator to interact with your world. dilbert: i refuse to believe that is true dogbert: yep. that's how i made you

Comic Like Dilbert

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Comic Like Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Entertainment, Comic, simulation, life, superior, being

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dilbert: i'm freaking out because i just learned there's a comic strip called "dilbert" that is exactly like my life. and look - this is exactly what i did today. it's as if i'm a simulation created by a superior being. dogbert: uh-oh, he's on-to me.

Parody Inversion Point

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Parody Inversion Point - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags government, sarcasm, parody, business, inversion, reality, absurd

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dilbert: according to my algorithm, we are heading toward a parody inversion point. that happens when reality becomes so absurd that it is indistinguishable from parody. dogbert: maybe the government can fix that dilbert alarmed: gaaa! i can't tell if you're serious!

Try Hiding

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Try Hiding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, boss, compliment, criticism, ego, employees, managers & supervisors

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Dogbert: If you compliment your employees, they will get big heads and think they are underpaid. But if you criticize them, they will be unhappy and quit. Boss: What should I do instead of those things? Dogbert: Have you tried hiding?

Technically Dilbert Is Male

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Technically Dilbert Is Male - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business ethics, gender, managers & supervisors, men and women, office workers, salary

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Dilbert: Technically, I'm male. But my boss makes me identify as a woman so it looks as if he pays men and women the same. Dogbert: You let your boss choose your gender? Dilbert: Don't make it sound weird.