Employee Birthday Parties Comic Strips - Page 12

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View 111 - 120 results for employee birthday parties comic strips. Discover the best "Employee Birthday Parties" comics from Dilbert.com.

Nanorobots In Wally Slow Down

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Nanorobots In Wally Slow Down - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #technology, #robot, #nanobot, #motivation

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Catbert: The nanobots we injected into your bloodstream to make you a better employee are slowing down. Your blood is demotivating the nanorobots and making them useless. You're killing them! Gaaa!!! It's a massacre in there! Wally: They had it coming.

Wally Gets Nano Robot Injection

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Wally Gets Nano Robot Injection - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nanorobot, #nanobot, #health, #motivation, #work ethic

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Catbert: For our employee wellness program we will inject nanorobots into your bloodstream to keep you free of disease. The nanorobots will also rewire your brain to make you a more effective worker. You might even feel motivated. Wally: Those robots are going to be disappointed.

Nano Robots Are The New Health Plan

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Nano Robots Are The New Health Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #robots, #invention, #health, #big business, #corporation, #nanobot

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CEO: We're replacing the employee health plan with nanorobot technology. We'll insert tiny medical robots into their lower digestive tracts to keep them healthy forever. Boss: So, our plan is to shove robots up... CEO: Only until the robots can replace them.

Dilbert Invents A Brain Stimulator

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Dilbert Invents A Brain Stimulator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #happiness, #work, #labor, #employee, #stimulation, #boredom, #interest, #human resources, #psychology, #business

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Dilbert: My brain stimulator will keep me interested in your meetings, no matter how boring they are. Now I can enjoy work and get paid, too. It seems I have beaten the system. Catbert: He's enjoying what? Boss; Work. It's super creepy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee, #Advice, #health, #wellness, #money, #cost, #work ethic, #fatigue, #Family, #marriage, #support, #insult, #relationships

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Dilbert: The long hours of work are taking a toll on my body. Can I take some time off for my health? Boss; That would defeat the whole point of being an employee. You are supposed to be trading your health and happiness for money. Then you give that money to your family and watch them spend it while you eat yourself to death. It's a circle of life sort of thing. Dilbert: I'm not married. Boss: Loser.

Working Sixty Hours A Week

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Working Sixty Hours A Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #hours, #workload, #interpretation, #negativity

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Man: I'm working sixty hours a week. Dilbert: Wow. You must be a terrible employee if you have to work long hours just to keep your job. Man: I was hoping you would respect my work ethic. Wally: Wrong table.

Scott's Birthday Cake

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Scott's Birthday Cake - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joy, #joyless, #cruelty, #birthday, #cynicism, #cynic

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Carol: We've got a cake in the break room for Scott's birthday. Dilbert: I see no reason to celebrate the random timing of natural events by eating poison and singing. Carol: Ow! You sucked all of the joy out of my body! Dilbert: Maybe you can backfill it with cake.

Alice Sets Precedent

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Alice Sets Precedent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #power, #exploitation, #frustration, #helpless, #mocking, #teasing, #cruelty

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Alice: I insulted our boss and he didn't react. The precedent has been set. I plan to test the limits of this unexpected employee benefit. What's up, idiot? Boss: Must... not... fire... good engineers.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flirting, #romance, #privacy, #stalking, #creepy, #creeper, #gestures, #gifts, #coworkers

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The New Employee. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. I bought you a book. Woman: Okay, weird. Who buys gifts for new co-workers? And how did you know this is my favorite author? Dilbert: I asked one of the network guys to check your browser history. Catbert assured me that employees have no right to privacy. I heard that women like it when men put thought into a gift. I hope you appreciate my romantic gesture. Wally: Did she make a romantic gesture back? Dilbert: I choose to interpret it that way.

Wally Drinks Deeply From His Trophy

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 Wally Drinks Deeply From His Trophy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ideas, #thinking, #coffee, #mug, #trophy, #award, #inspiration

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Wally: We need new ideas. I shall drink deeply from my "Employee of the Year" trophy. Mmm... coffee. Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. Alice: Got any new ideas? Wally: Ambidextrous coffee mug!