Everybody Likes Project Comic Strips - Page 12

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738 Results for Everybody Likes Project

View 111 - 120 results for everybody likes project comic strips. Discover the best "Everybody Likes Project" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dashboard Never Changes

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Dashboard Never Changes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2016's comic on:


Tags #deception, #trick, #technology, #status, #ruse

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Boss: I noticed that the project dashboard you wrote for me never changes. Dilbert: That's because our projects are always doing great. Boss: It's a static image, isn't it? Dilbert: You're gonna wish you asked that three weeks ago.

Biggest Obstacle

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Biggest Obstacle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #honesty, #success

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Boss: What is your biggest obstacle to success on this project? Dilbert: It's you. It's always you. Should I add that to the business plan? Boss: Let's keep it general.

Wally Heads Up Ai Project

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Wally Heads Up Ai Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #project, #fake

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Boss: Wally, I need you to head up our artificial intelligence project. You will have no budget and no hope of success. I just like saying we're working on AI. And you're completely useless, so it's a good match. Wally: I won't let you down.

Managing Your Boss

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Managing Your Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #management, #accountability, #blame, #time, #time management

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Boss: Your project is three weeks behind schedule. Dilbert: That's the exact amount of time I was waiting for you to answer my questions. Boss: You need to manage me better. Dilbert: Okay, you're fired.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #expectations, #unrealistic, #project, #group, #laziness, #prediction

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Boss: When do you expect to finish your project? Dilbert: Never. Boss: That's your plan? Dilbert: No, my plan is to be done in a week. You asked me what I expect. I base my expectations on the quality of people you assigned to my project without asking my opinion. The time-wasters outnumber the productive people on the team by three to one. Under that scenario, plus your total lack of leadership, the world will end before this project does. Boss: Then why is your plan to be done in a week? Dilbert: Because you don't like it when I tell the truth. Boss: Let's compromise on two weeks. Dilbert: Can we set those two weeks on auto-renew?

The Entitled Employee

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The Entitled Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #millennials, #entitlement, #entitiled, #lazy, #work ethic

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The Entitled Employee. Dilbert: Did you finish your assignment for the project? Coworker: No, I was tired, and it looked hard. I assume someone does the hard stuff for me. Am I wrong? Dilbert: I need to have a word with your parents.

Ted Knows That Dilbert Knows

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Ted Knows That Dilbert Knows - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2016's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #secret, #gratitude

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Dilbert: Ted knows that I know something about his project. Now he won't stop hounding me. I don't know what to do. Wally: Try dousing him with coffee. Dilbert: Your advice is terrible. Wally: You're coming off as ungrateful.

What The Boss Said

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What The Boss Said - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2016's comic on:


Tags #secret, #accusation, #privacy, #following, #bathroom, #restroom, #personal space

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Ted: I think you know something about my project and your boss told you to keep quiet. Ha! You just confirmed it by avoiding eye contact! Dilbert: Maybe you could get your own stall? Ted: Why? What do you have to hide?

Ted Wonders If Boss Said Something

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Ted Wonders If Boss Said Something - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #secret, #keeping secrets, #panic, #worry

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Ted: I saw you talking to my boss. Did he say anything about my project? Dilbert: Um... Ted: Your hesitant response tells me you know something and he asked you not to tell me. Dilbert: Um... Ted: Is something terrible going to happen to me? Dilbert: Um...

Do Not Talk To Ted

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Do Not Talk To Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #secret, #keeping secrets, #deception

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Boss: Don't talk to Ted until I have time to tell him I cut his project. Dilbert: When will that be? Boss: I don't know. My European vacation starts tomorrow. Ted: Do you have ten seconds to talk? Dilbert: Check back in fifteen days.