Executives Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

135 Results for Executives

View 111 - 120 results for executives comic strips. Discover the best "Executives" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manager of executive compensation, plan to steal, meeting, back slapping, pormises, raises, ponys, vacations, huge raise, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: "I'd like you to meet Bradley, our new manager of executive compensation." Boss: "Bradley's job is to recommend to our board how much to pay company executives such as me." "Bradley is totally objective." Bradley: "Totally." "That was a world-class observation, so I'll recommend that the company buy you a pony." "...A STRONG pony to carry the huge bags of cash I recommend for you." Boss: "Good work, Bradley. I'll recommend to the board that you get a huge raise!" Dilbert: "Gaaa!! Stop pretending to have reasons!! Just steal the stupid money!!!" Boss: "See what I have to deal with every day?" Bradley: "Would an extra month of vacation reduce the sting?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bankruptcy, bring executives, money, shake at roof, sold stock, money falling

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to Tina, "This is a list of our executives who sold stock before announcing bankruptcy." Alice continues, "My plan is to bring each executive to the roof, hold him by the ankles, and shake." Tina stands on the sidewalk with an open bag. Money and personals fall from the roof. Tina says, "Ooh! A cat comb!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags live person, attracted to idea, drain on morale, voice mail, secretary in action, answering phone

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Carol, "Carol, from now on, I want a live person answering my phone." Carol asks the Boss, "What attracted you to that idea?" Carol continues, "Was it the inefficiency or the drain of morale?" The Boss replies, "Important executives don't use voice mail." Dilbert approaches the Boss and says, "I have some information for you." The Boss answers, "Call me." While standing in front of the Boss, Dilbert begins dialing his telephone number. Carol picks up the Boss' line and says, "He's not here. Do you want to leave a detailed message?" Dilbert answers, "Yes." Carol screams in the phone, "Well, you can't!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meet with vendor, plan, executives, reason, complete waste, perfromance review

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss and Dilbert are in a meeting. The boss says, "Meet with our vendor and come up with a plan. I'll do the same with their executives." Dilbert says, "Can you see any reason why MY meeting might be a complete waste of time?" The boss says, "Sure, lots of them, but I'm planning to spring those on you during your performance review."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, strategic planning, sessions, inadequate data, knowledge attained, reorganize, tried, magazine

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss meets with Wally and Dilbert. The boss says, "Our executives have started their annual strategic planning sessions." The boss says, "This involves sitting in a room with inadequate data until an illusion of knowledge is attained." The boss says, "Then we'll reorganize. because that's all we know how to do!" Wally says, "Have you tried it with a magazine?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogcart the ceo, board of directors, double pay, bleat like sheep, meeting, baaa, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Dogbert the C.E.O. Dogbert and executives sitting at a table. Dogbert says, "I make a motion that the board of directors double my pay." Dogbert continues, "All in favor, bleat like sheep." Dilbert and Wally stand outside the conference room and bear "BA-A-A" sounds eminating from the room. Wally says, "I think we're missing a check or a balance somewhere."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags top executives, locked, conference room, starved to death, call help, phone, trouble, deciosns, get outside line

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice peaks into Dilbert's cube while he is sitting at his computer terrminal and says, "I just heard that all our top executives got locked in a conference room and starved to death." Dilbert replies, "Why didn't they use the phone to call for help?" Caption: One week ago... Three executives sitting at a table staring at a phone. One, while holding a piece of paper, says, "It's agreed: We dial 83 to get an outside line." Another executive says, "Uh-oh. This one doesn't do decimals."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags strategy lockup meeting, meeting won't end, new strategy, wedge my broom

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Dilbert, and The Boss sitting at table. The Boss says, "Our top executives are in a special strategy lockup meeting." The Boss continues, "The meeting won't end until they agree on a new strategy, so it might be a while." Janitor places a broom in handle of the meeting room door and thinks, "Maybe if I wedge my broom here I won't forget where I put it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project sparkle, desk policy, company wide effoert, tiny question, curious, top executives, competitive threat, panic, lone voice of reason, paper towles, laminated card, mission statement

View Transcript

Transcript

At a meeting, The Boss says, "Announcing Project 'Sparkle', the clean desk policy." The Boss says, "This is a company wide effort to keep our work spaces clean." Alice says, "Tiny question. I'm curious about one thing." Alice says, "I'm picturing our top executives in the 'War Room.'" Alice waves her arms wildly and says, "They talk about the competitive threat and our lack of resources. Suddenly, panic sets in!!" Alice is wide eyed and finishes, "A lone voice of reason penetrates the confusion. Two words: Paper towels." Alice asks, "Is that pretty much how it went?" The Boss says, "Moving along. Each of you get a laminated card with our mission statement." Wally puts his arm out to restrain Alice and says, "Let me do this one." Dilbert just watches it go by. The only reason he's here is because his name is on the strip.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags finest executives, created statements, core values, help community, producing state of the art, business soultions, didn't skimp, nine executives

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sists at a conference table with Wally and Dilbert. He waves a pice of paer and says, "Ten of our finest executives got together and created a statement of our core values." The Boss quotes from the document, "We help the community and the world by producing state-of-the-art business solutions." Wally responds, "I'm glad we didn't skimp and try to do that with only nine executives." Dilbert adds, "Yeah. It might have sucked."