Filing System Comic Strips - Page 12

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247 Results for Filing System

View 111 - 120 results for filing system comic strips. Discover the best "Filing System" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2008's comic on:


Tags #online budget approval, #process making changes, #classes, #approval process, #budget varience, #broken system, #charges, #cubicle, #billable project, #exaggerating accomplishments

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Dilbert: Out online budget approval system isn't working. There's a process for making changes to the system, but I don't know it. I could take a class to learn the process, but there's also a process for approving classes. I could learn the process for approving classes, but I'd still need approval for a budget variance to take the class. And I can't get that because the online budget approval system is broken. I can't even have this conversation because it will make me charge too much of my engineering time to administrative overhead. So I'll go sit in my cubicle and pretend to be thinking about a billable project. It looks like I'll be exaggerating my accomplishments again this year.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2008's comic on:


Tags #wally fired, #exit interview, #manipulation, #rigged system, #boss, #exploding servers

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Wally: I don't hold any grudges about being fired for hanging a comic on the wall. The company will be fine without my secret and exclusive knowledge of the critical systems. If the framistan starts to gabol, just purge the cache within sixty seconds and the servers won't explode.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2008's comic on:


Tags #server, #project, #virtualization, #rates, #online, #trouble ticket, #scam, #inside job

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Dogbert: The server virtualization project is done, and there are no trouble tickets. My rates might seem steep, but remember, there are no trouble tickets. Dilbert: Our online trouble ticket system is broken."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2007's comic on:


Tags #automated sytem, #arbitrary deadline, #work smarter, #not harder, #sense of urgency, #get work done

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Dilbert: "I can't develop an automated testing system by the arbitrary deadline you set." The Boss: "Try working smarter, not harder, with a sense of urgency, and a bias for action." Dilbert: "Or maybe you could do something differently." The Boss: "I'm not the one who can't get his work done."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2007's comic on:


Tags #frisutration, #vendor, #dela, #cost, #product costs, #shipping, #won't answer, #deliberate avoidance, #crazy making, #systems costs, #delivery, #stuck

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Dilbert: "What would your system cost?" Vendor: "We can deliver in two weeks." Dilbert: "But what would it cost?" Vendor: "A lot of vendors deliver in four weeks, but we can do it in two." Dilbert: "I'm asking about price, not delivery schedules." Vendor: "Do you want it shipped by ground or air? Air is even faster." Dilbert: "What does it cost?" Vendor: "Ground costs less than air." Dilbert: "GAAA!!! What does the SYSTEM cost?!!" Vendor: "For ground?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2007's comic on:


Tags #depressed, #corporate job, #intern, #unimportant tasks, #feel nothing, #stressed, #ptsd, #punch, #numb out

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Asok: My job is an endless series of mind-numbingly unimportant tasks. "My central nervous system is starting to atrophy." The Boss: "I'm kind of busy." Asok: "Punch me in the head so I can feel something."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2006's comic on:


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I found a family of squirrels living inside our legacy system. "They control our payroll database. They're making demands." "Leave the acorns and no one will get their deductions increased."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2006's comic on:


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Carl quit. He's the only one who knows how to program the legacy system. "It can't be that hard. Go figure it out." ? "Frack."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2006's comic on:


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"I need you to drop whatever you're doing and work all night to make this change to your system." "If you refuse to do my bidding, here's the rumor I will spread about you." "Ha! I'll say I was only scratching an itch." "Good luck with that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2006's comic on:


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My new strategy is to hire passionate people instead of smart ones. "I curse the air conditioning system that blows such a cold wind!" "I can already feel our stock price going up."