Fire Comic Strips - Page 12
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Character
221 Results for Fire
View 111 - 120 results for fire comic strips. Discover the best "Fire" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 09,
2007
Tags cost estimate, user requirements, estimate, go over budget, fired, Number, ten million dollars, know cost, input
Transcript
The Boss: "I need a cost estimate on your project." Dilbert: "I have no idea I haven't even gathered the user requirements." The Boss: "Don't worry I won't hold you to the estimate." Dilbert: "Yes you will. You will put it in the plan, forget we had this conversation, and fire me when I go over budget." The boss: "Give me a number or I'll fire you right now." Dilbert: "Okay, it will cost ten million dollars." The Boss: "That's too high." Dilbert: "If you already know the cost why are you asking me?" The Boss: "So you'll feel like you had input." Dilbert: "Is input supposed to feel this bad?"
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday November 10,
2007
Tags old job, better than here, great company, fired, quit, moron
Transcript
"At my old job, we did everything better than we do it here." Alice: "They sound like a great company. It's no wonder they fired you." "They didn't fire me. I quit to come work here." Alice: "So, your point is that you're a moron?"
Thursday September 06,
2007
Tags fired, incompetent, everything, teach dilbert, how to do your job
Transcript
The Boss: "Carl, I have to fire you." "You're totally incompetent at everything you do." "Before you go, I'd like you to teach Dilbert how to do your job."
Tuesday July 17,
2007
Tags elbonian divison, do any work, every minute, hidden cameras, randomly fire, evil, buttocks tingle
Transcript
The Boss: My Elbonian division won't do any work unless someone is watching them every minute. Catbert: "Tell them you have hidden cameras." "Then randomly fire one Elbonian per week." The Boss: "Hee-hee! Evil makes my buttocks tingle."
Monday July 02,
2007
Tags strategic asset, market share, fire yourself, accountabilty
Transcript
The Boss: Human resources is a company's most important strategic asset. "That means it's your fault we're losing market share. Maybe you should fire yourself." "Strategic assets don't like accountability."
Friday May 04,
2007
Wednesday May 02,
2007
Tags absurd aasignments, cartoonist, comic embarrasing, cubicle, evaluate technology, fire him, no economical applaication, new job
Transcript
Catbert: We have a report of a cartoonist in Cubicle 45950. His comics might embarrass the company. "We can't fire him because it would look bad. You must give him absurd assignments until he quits." The Boss: "Your new job is to evaluate technology that obviously has no economical application." "Woo hoo!"


