High Traffic Cube Comic Strips - Page 12

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215 Results for High Traffic Cube

View 111 - 120 results for high traffic cube comic strips. Discover the best "High Traffic Cube" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags company relocating, high crime, tax reasons, ceo says, limo, parking garage, chain bike to whino, advice from ceo

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The Boss: "Our company will be relocating to a high-crime area for tax reasons." "Our CEO says don't worry about your safety because your limo can pull right into the underground parking garage." "Then he added, "Or chain your bicycle to a wino. Whatever."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags warning lables, on donuts, high calorie donuts, will kill you, tastes great, choked to death

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The Boss: The government says we have to put warning labels on our forty thousand calorie, shard -filled doughnuts prodcut. Dogbert: How about: warning! this product will kill you but thats okay because it tastes great! Police: It looks like he chocked on some sort of warning label.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invent nanotech stem cells, point to hand, almost done, prnak, give high five, crush them, blame

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Dilbert: "My boss wants me to invent nano-technology stem cells because it sounds good." DOgbert: "Try pointing to your empty hand and saying, 'you can't see them but they're almost done!'" "Then trick him into giving you a high-five and yell, 'you crushed them! Aaag!!!'"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accounting, expense figures, base ten, counting system, full range, odds and even, hp printer ink, finance troll

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"Accounting" "Can you explain these expense figures?" "It's a base ten accounting system with a full range of odd and even digits." "This isn't helping." "Tastes like hp printer ink... high gloss paper, four hours old."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 401k plan, afterlife, charisma, evil director, expected - value basis, free software upagrdes, high potential reward, human resources, math, odds seem low, reward you in aftrelife, seventy versions, education, business

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Catbert, the Evil Director of Human Resources." Catbert: "Your 401K Retirement Plan will be replaced with a 401A plan." "The 'A' stands for afterlife." "You'll get no money in this life, but the company will reward you in the afterlife." Dilbert: "The odds of that happening seem low." CatBert: "Yes, but on an expected-value basis, a high potential reward compensates for low odds." "For example, how many free software upgrades would I need to promise you in the afterlife to make you work yourself to death this year?" Dilbert: "Seventy versions." "I resisted his charisma. But he got me with his math."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags heart and sould, high speed data, talent pool, in charge, mentor, panicking

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Wally: I've put my heart and soul into the high-speed-data-by-sewer project. But I believe in developing outr talent pool, SO I recommend putting Asok in charge if the project, I will be his mentor, AsoK; wow! what should I do first? Wally: I wouldn't rule out panicking.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet traffic, good thing, under sewage, breathe through straw, grateful, sewer system

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Wally: "Asok, would you like to join a doomed project for sending internet traffic over the sewer system?" Asok: "Absolutely! I might be young and inexperienced, but I know a good thing when I see it!" Wally: "I need you to work under the sewage and breathe through a straw." Asok: "I get a straw?!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags send broadband, send data, sewer system

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The Boss: Our competitors found a way to send broadband internet traffic over the power grid. I want you to find a way to send data via the sewer system. Wally: I thought I was already doing it.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags billion dollar product line, designed and launched, meets expectations, high expectations, worng

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"Alice, this year you single-handedly designed and launched a billion dollar line of new products." "For that accomplishment, I give you the highly coveted 'meets expectations' designation!" "Alice, if having high expectations of you is wrong, then I don't want to be right."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags budget request, priority, highest priority, mockery, low priority

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Asok: What is the priority of your budget request? Alice: Highest of the high. Asok: everyone rated their own budget needs "Highest Priority" It is a mockery f the priority system! Asok: Name one thing that everyone would agree is a low priority. Alice: whatever you're doing.