How To Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for How To

View 111 - 120 results for how-to comic strips. Discover the best "How To" comics from Dilbert.com.

Software Specs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Software Specs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, software, specifications, business, problem, unclear

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: how long will it take to write the software? dilbert: that depends. what do you want the software to do? boss: i don't know yet. dilbert: do you see the problem here? boss: is it you?

Dogbert's Sensitivity Training

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Sensitivity Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, class, training, sensitivity, offend, kill, hour

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: welcome to dogcart's sensitivity training dogbert passing out papers: today you will learn how to never offend anyone ever again class including dilbert: are you going to kill us? dogbert: no, no, no. after an hour of this class, you'll want to do it yourself.

Self Reliant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Self Reliant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, project, teamwork, help, teach, self-reliant

View Transcript

Transcript

boss to wally: ted says you wouldn't help him on his project. wally: i was teaching him how to be self-reliant. that's important too, isn't it? not such an easy question, is it?

Bad News I Can't Tell You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad News I Can't Tell You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags angry, employees, frustrated, news, office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I have bad news. Dilbert: What is it? Carol: I'll tell you later. Dilbert: Why can't you tell me now? Carol: I don't want to start and then get interrupted if someone comes in the room. Dilbert: How bad is the news? Carol: It's bad. Very bad. Dilbert: You're making me crazy, how can I relax knowing some terrible news is out there? Don't tell me you have bad news if you aren't going to tell me what it is!!! Wally: What did I miss? Dilbert: I don't know!

Practice Makes Perfect

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Practice Makes Perfect - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, practice, estimate, errors, business, incorrect

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: how can i trust your estimate when you have been wrong every other time? wally: practice makes perfect boss: um... boss thinking: i just realized i don't know how anything works.

Dogbert Designed The Simulation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Designed The Simulation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, simulation, creator, three dimensional, avatar, truth, made

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i didn't want to tell you this, but you're a simulation designed by a three-dimensional creator. and i'm an avatar used by your creator to interact with your world. dilbert: i refuse to believe that is true dogbert: yep. that's how i made you

Test Device Analogy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Test Device Analogy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, technology, power drill, test, device, analogy, office

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i designed the test device to be held like one would hold a power drill ted: that's stupid. that product can't drill a hole in anything ceo: good point dilbert: that's... not... how analogies work. ted: and what if i don't need to drill anything? ceo: yeah!

Garbage Man Breaks Fourth Wall

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Garbage Man Breaks Fourth Wall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags psychology, reality, parody, broken, business, garbage, Comic, indistinguishable

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: reality has become so absurd that it is indistinguishable from parody. how can we fix that? garbage man: there is nothing to fix. reality has always been the same as parody. you just didn't notice until now. dilbert: you're joking, right? garbage man: check out this comic strip called "dilbert"

Hypothetical Observer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hypothetical Observer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, insults, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Thank you for explaining to me how to do my job, for which I am highly trained and you are not. An observer might be tempted to say only an idiot would do such a thing. Boss: Is that an insult? Dilbert: Hey, don't blame me for what a hypothetical observer says.

Would It Look The Same

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Would It Look The Same  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, dumb, smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Hypothetically, how would you know if I were dumber than you or much smarter? Because in both cases I would make choices that you wouldn't understand. Wouldn't it look the same to you? Boss: I don't enjoy talking to you.