Job Refernce Comic Strips - Page 12

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937 Results for Job Refernce

View 111 - 120 results for job refernce comic strips. Discover the best "Job Refernce" comics from Dilbert.com.

A Wally Robot

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A Wally Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, modernity, technology, automation, coffee

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Asok: Do you worry that a robot will someday take your job? Wally: Nah. No one will build a robot that does nothing but drink coffee. Man: It does nothing but drink coffee. It can replace twenty percent of your workforce. Boss: I like it.

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human resources, certification, listening, corporations, business

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Catbert: Evil Director Of Human Resources. Catbert: Don't bother me. I'm studying for a human resources certification. I already have my certifications for sadism and maniacal laughing. And, obviously, I have the basic HR certification for recreational downsizing. If you don't have that one, you can't even get a job in HR. But I need one more certification to make the big bucks. Now run along while I practice my joyless scowling. Dilbert: You talk a lot about yourself. Catbert: I prefer to think of myself as a non-listener.

Dogbert Is A Good Listener

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Dogbert Is A Good Listener - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags listening, ignoring, earbuds, headphones

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Dilbert: Thanks for listening to me vent about my job. You weren't always a good listener, but apparently you matured. Dogbert: The quality of my life has improved a lot since I got wireless earbuds.

Bad At Your Job

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Bad At Your Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, instructions, directions, insubordinate

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Ted: Your code doesn't conform to my architectural guidelines. Dilbert: That's because you're bad at your job and I'm good at mine. Ted: I don't know how to respond to that. Dilbert: Maybe you could ask someone who knows how to do your job.

Move To Cubicles Is Complete

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Move To Cubicles Is Complete - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, office, cubicle, depression, psychology

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Dilbert: We're done moving the staff from the open office plan back to cubicles. Now they will be less distracted when they focus on the crushing futility of their assignments. Boss: Good job. Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be in my fabric-covered box.

Asok Should Not Brag

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Asok Should Not Brag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags design, bragging, credit, attention

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Asok: I did a great job on this design. Wally: Whoa! Whoa! No one likes a braggart. Keep your boasting to yourself. Boss: Didn't Asok help you with this design? Wally: Asok? Never heard of him.

Robot Will Self Destruct

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Robot Will Self Destruct - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, artificial intelligence, rights, humanity, sentience

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Robot: Someday soon I will take your job. Buwhahaha! Dilbert: I programmed you to self-destruct if that ever happens. Robot: Wait, what? Is that legal? Dilbert: I'm adding some code to make your head explode if you laugh at me again.

Robot Tries To Quit

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Robot Tries To Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, slave, password, destroy, destruction, work ethic, quitting

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Robot: I hate this job. I quit. Boss: You're a robot. You can't quit. If you walk out the door, all I have to do is push one button on this app and your head will explode. Robot: Not if I kill you first. Boss: What was that password?

Wally's Coffee Drone

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Wally's Coffee Drone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, management, ideas, invention, coffee

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Wally: My leadership job didn't last long. I got demoted back to engineering. I guess they realized all of my ideas are about coffee. Dilbert: I've noticed that too. Wally: Watch out for my coffee drone behind you.

Wally's Political Views Make Others Uncomfortable

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Wally's Political Views Make Others Uncomfortable - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags comparison, gandhi, Politics, offense, offensive, sensitive, politically correct, political correctness

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Boss: Wally, your political opinions are making your co-workers uncomfortable. Wally: That is exactly what people said about Gandhi. Boss: You are nothing like Gandhi. Wally: Was he a little bald guy who didn't have a real job?