Job Refernce Comic Strips - Page 12
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937 Results for Job Refernce
View 111 - 120 results for job refernce comic strips. Discover the best "Job Refernce" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday September 04,
2017
A Wally Robot
Tags robot, modernity, technology, automation, coffee
Transcript
Asok: Do you worry that a robot will someday take your job? Wally: Nah. No one will build a robot that does nothing but drink coffee. Man: It does nothing but drink coffee. It can replace twenty percent of your workforce. Boss: I like it.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday August 20,
2017
Tags human resources, certification, listening, corporations, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director Of Human Resources. Catbert: Don't bother me. I'm studying for a human resources certification. I already have my certifications for sadism and maniacal laughing. And, obviously, I have the basic HR certification for recreational downsizing. If you don't have that one, you can't even get a job in HR. But I need one more certification to make the big bucks. Now run along while I practice my joyless scowling. Dilbert: You talk a lot about yourself. Catbert: I prefer to think of myself as a non-listener.
Friday August 04,
2017
Dogbert Is A Good Listener
Tags listening, ignoring, earbuds, headphones
Transcript
Dilbert: Thanks for listening to me vent about my job. You weren't always a good listener, but apparently you matured. Dogbert: The quality of my life has improved a lot since I got wireless earbuds.
Saturday July 22,
2017
Bad At Your Job
Tags managers, instructions, directions, insubordinate
Transcript
Ted: Your code doesn't conform to my architectural guidelines. Dilbert: That's because you're bad at your job and I'm good at mine. Ted: I don't know how to respond to that. Dilbert: Maybe you could ask someone who knows how to do your job.
Saturday July 01,
2017
Move To Cubicles Is Complete
Tags office workers, office, cubicle, depression, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: We're done moving the staff from the open office plan back to cubicles. Now they will be less distracted when they focus on the crushing futility of their assignments. Boss: Good job. Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be in my fabric-covered box.
Friday May 19,
2017
Asok Should Not Brag
Monday May 15,
2017
Robot Will Self Destruct
Tags robot, artificial intelligence, rights, humanity, sentience
Transcript
Robot: Someday soon I will take your job. Buwhahaha! Dilbert: I programmed you to self-destruct if that ever happens. Robot: Wait, what? Is that legal? Dilbert: I'm adding some code to make your head explode if you laugh at me again.
Monday May 08,
2017
Robot Tries To Quit
Tags robot, slave, password, destroy, destruction, work ethic, quitting
Transcript
Robot: I hate this job. I quit. Boss: You're a robot. You can't quit. If you walk out the door, all I have to do is push one button on this app and your head will explode. Robot: Not if I kill you first. Boss: What was that password?
Saturday March 25,
2017
Wally's Coffee Drone
Tags managers, management, ideas, invention, coffee
Transcript
Wally: My leadership job didn't last long. I got demoted back to engineering. I guess they realized all of my ideas are about coffee. Dilbert: I've noticed that too. Wally: Watch out for my coffee drone behind you.
Tuesday February 28,
2017
Wally's Political Views Make Others Uncomfortable
Tags comparison, gandhi, Politics, offense, offensive, sensitive, politically correct, political correctness
Transcript
Boss: Wally, your political opinions are making your co-workers uncomfortable. Wally: That is exactly what people said about Gandhi. Boss: You are nothing like Gandhi. Wally: Was he a little bald guy who didn't have a real job?