Job Skills Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Job Skills

View 111 - 120 results for job skills comic strips. Discover the best "Job Skills" comics from Dilbert.com.

Robot Is Too Smart

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Is Too Smart - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #automation, #power, #managers, #intelligence, #ai, #artificial intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new robot is too smart. It keeps threatening humans into doing its job while it does nothing but drink coffee. CEO: Isn't that all you do? Boss: I don't like where this is heading.

A Wally Robot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
A Wally Robot  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #modernity, #technology, #automation, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you worry that a robot will someday take your job? Wally: Nah. No one will build a robot that does nothing but drink coffee. Man: It does nothing but drink coffee. It can replace twenty percent of your workforce. Boss: I like it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #certification, #listening, #corporations, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director Of Human Resources. Catbert: Don't bother me. I'm studying for a human resources certification. I already have my certifications for sadism and maniacal laughing. And, obviously, I have the basic HR certification for recreational downsizing. If you don't have that one, you can't even get a job in HR. But I need one more certification to make the big bucks. Now run along while I practice my joyless scowling. Dilbert: You talk a lot about yourself. Catbert: I prefer to think of myself as a non-listener.

Dogbert Is A Good Listener

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Is A Good Listener - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #listening, #ignoring, #earbuds, #headphones

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Thanks for listening to me vent about my job. You weren't always a good listener, but apparently you matured. Dogbert: The quality of my life has improved a lot since I got wireless earbuds.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #leadership, #power, #influence

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why isn't your project done? Dilbert: I can't make the people on my team do any work because I'm not their boss. Boss: Sure you can. It's called leadership. I do it all the time. Dilbert: All you do is threaten to fire people. I can't do that because I"m not their boss. Boss: That's why you have to use your soft leadership skills A good leader can get people to do anything. Dilbert: Then why couldn't you get me to finish my project on time? And why do you pay me? You could just lead me to work for free. Boss: Shut up or I'll fire you.

Bad At Your Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad At Your Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #instructions, #directions, #insubordinate

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Your code doesn't conform to my architectural guidelines. Dilbert: That's because you're bad at your job and I'm good at mine. Ted: I don't know how to respond to that. Dilbert: Maybe you could ask someone who knows how to do your job.

Move To Cubicles Is Complete

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Move To Cubicles Is Complete - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #office, #cubicle, #depression, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're done moving the staff from the open office plan back to cubicles. Now they will be less distracted when they focus on the crushing futility of their assignments. Boss: Good job. Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be in my fabric-covered box.

Asok Should Not Brag

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Should Not Brag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design, #bragging, #credit, #attention

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I did a great job on this design. Wally: Whoa! Whoa! No one likes a braggart. Keep your boasting to yourself. Boss: Didn't Asok help you with this design? Wally: Asok? Never heard of him.

Robot Will Self Destruct

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Will Self Destruct - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #artificial intelligence, #rights, #humanity, #sentience

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Someday soon I will take your job. Buwhahaha! Dilbert: I programmed you to self-destruct if that ever happens. Robot: Wait, what? Is that legal? Dilbert: I'm adding some code to make your head explode if you laugh at me again.

Robot Tries To Quit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Tries To Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #slave, #password, #destroy, #destruction, #work ethic, #quitting

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: I hate this job. I quit. Boss: You're a robot. You can't quit. If you walk out the door, all I have to do is push one button on this app and your head will explode. Robot: Not if I kill you first. Boss: What was that password?