Knowledge Comic Strips - Page 12
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128 Results for Knowledge
View 111 - 120 results for knowledge comic strips. Discover the best "Knowledge" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday June 14,
1997
Tags Advice, clone boss, email message, no knowledge, perspective, possible, no experience
Transcript
Dilbert tells Wally, "Someday it will be possible to clone or boss." Wally replies, "But the clone would have no experience and no knowledge." The Boss tells them, "I just sent an e-mail message to Japan. I don't know the language so I took your advice and typed it all in caps." Dilbert says, "Wow. That put it all in perspective."
Sunday February 04,
1996
Tags never undertsnd, engineer, all day meetings, knowledge worker, prodcut, acronym, puntucal, dilbert's mother, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dilbert's mother offers him a cookie and says, "I'll never understand what you do for a living." Dilbert replies, "I told you I'm an engineer, Mom." Dilbert's mom says, "So you say, but you also say you spend all day in meetings. When do you do any engineering?" Dilbert replies, "Good point. Let's just say I'm what the experts call a 'knowledge worker.'" Dilbert's mother asks, "Which experts call it that?" Dilbert replies, "I don't know." Dilbert's mom asks, "What's the name of the product you're working on?" Dilbert responds, "I don't know what the acronym stands for . . ." Mom asks, "What kind of market penetration and return on investment do you expect?" Dilbert says, "Um . . . I don't know . . ." Dilbert's mom says, "Oh, dear . . . Well, I'm sure you're very punctual." Dilbert shouts, "Ask me another question!! C'mon . . ." Dogbert asks, "Why do they call you a 'KNOWLEDGE worker'?"
Friday January 20,
1995
Tags dark side, engineering, technical knowledge, generlaist, easy path, suite, applications, unnatural
Transcript
Phil stands behind Dilbert's desk and waves his hand and his spoon. Phil says, "Come to the dark side, Dilbert. Renounce engineering and become a manager." Dilbert says angrily, "NEVER!" Looking over Dilbert's shoulder, Phil says, "Your technical knowledge is getting stale. You're becoming a generalist . . . take the easy path." Phil is holding a set of software boxes. He says to Dilbert, "I brought you a suite of applications that ll work together." Dilbert yells, "THAT'S UNNATURAL!!! BE GONE!!!"
Sunday November 13,
1994
Tags promote district manager, technical knowledge, valuable, no promotions, promote al, no knowledge al, grumpy
Transcript
The Boss stands in front of Alice, Dilbert and Al. He says, "I need to promote one of you to the district manager position." Dilbert, Al and Alice look at the Boss. The Boss says, "Dilbert, your technical knowledge is too valuable to lose." The Boss continues, "Ditto for Alice. Neither of you can be promoted." Dilbert and Alice look angry. The Boss says, "The only logical choice is to promote Al because he has no valuable knowledge." Dilbert replies, "Al??! A director??! He doesn't know what day of the week it is!! The Boss tells Al, "They're just grumpy because it's Monday." Dilbert says, "It's Thursday."
Friday September 02,
1994
Tags classes at night, eleven cheerios, gaining knowledge, knowledge, work all day
Transcript
"I don't know how you do it. You work all day and now you take classes at night." "ZZZ" "It's hard, but you're gaining knowledge that couldn't be obtained any other way." "Whump" "Hey! I can hold eleven 'cheerios' in my nose!" "And it's knowledge you can apply."
Tuesday August 30,
1994
Tags classes, get mba, big name school, knowledge, not prestige, tonys, house, mbas, babe ratio
Transcript
"I'm going to take classes at night and get an MBA." "I don't need a big-name school. I'm in this for knowledge, not prestige." "How about 'Tony's House of MBA's'?" "The babe ratio is better at 'MBA-O-RAMA'."
Saturday May 21,
1994
Tags change project, actual knowledge, changes, voicemail
Transcript
The Boss: "We just had a meeting and decided to change your project substantially." "We didn't invite you to the meeting because things go smoother when nobody has any actual knowledge." Dilbert: "So, what are the changes?" The Boss: "If I remember, I'll leave you a voice mail."
Thursday March 25,
1993
Tags Dilbert, the boss, deserve, promoted, technical, unstable, potentially, dangerous, knowledge
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I'll prove I deserve to be promoted to 'Technical Prima Donna.'" Dilbert sprays the Boss with a fire extinguisher and says, "I think this shows that I'm emotionally unstable and potentially dangerous." Dilbert asks, "How was that?" The Boss says from under a pile of foam, "It was good. I'm starting to over-value your technical knowledge already."
Monday March 22,
1993
Tags the boss, Dilbert, engineering, knowledge, promote, prima donna, demonstrate, personality, dissorders, mumble, disdain, humanity
Transcript
Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Your engineering knowledge is good, but I can't promote you to 'prima donna.'" The Boss continues, ". . . Unless you demonstrate a few more serious personality disorders." Dilbert replies, "I can mumble." The Boss says, "Sure, but can you do it with disdain for all of humanity?"
Sunday January 17,
1993
Tags internet, Dilbert, Dogbert, cyberspace, pants, calvin, hobbes, fantasy, artistic, globe, e-mail, nerd
Transcript
Dilbert braces himself against the desk as his arm disappears into the computer. He shouts, "Help! Dogbert, I'm being sucked into cyberspace!" Dilbert's head and torso disappear into the computer and he screams. Dogbert grabs his pants. Dilbert is gone, but Dogbert holds his pants. He says, "Let's hope you don't need pants in cyberspace." Dilbert floats through a strange world. He thinks, "Wow! It's like a 'Calvin and Hobbes' fantasy but without the artistic look to it." Dilbert thinks, "It's beautiful! I'm interacting with the minds of brilliant people from around the globe." A sign that says "Internet" points to the right. Dilbert floats past an "E-mail" sign. He thinks, "I can see how all their ideas and knowledge fit together! It's exhilarating!" Dilbert floats toward the exit and thinks, "How can I ever describe this to somebody who hasn't been here?" Dilbert tells a woman, ". . . And I didn't even need pants!" The woman replies, "So, you're some kind of nerd, right?"


