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View 111 - 120 results for like fresh garbage comic strips. Discover the best "Like Fresh Garbage" comics from Dilbert.com.

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. - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #criticism, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sabotage

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Boss: My new employee is doing such great work that he makes the rest of you look like chimpanzees. I think you know what you need to do. Wally: Sabotage all of his projects. Boss: Try to do it before he takes my job.

Unconscious Bias

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Unconscious Bias - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obliviousness, #office workers, #racism, #training, #bias

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Carol: You haven't completed the mandatory training on unconscious bias. Dilbert: I'm not biased. Carol: Maybe you are when you are not conscious. Dilbert: I'm a bigot in my sleep? Carol: And you look like a drooler.

Wally Writes Fiction

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Wally Writes Fiction - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget, #business, #managers & supervisors

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wally: i decided to try my hand at writing fiction. i like writing fiction because it doesn't require any research. i can literally make up a story out of nothing. i feel sorry for nonfiction writers. they have to get the facts right. but a fiction writer only has to use imagination. i can make any wild assumptions about the future that i want. boss: i asked you here to talk about your budget forecast. wally: that's what i was talking about.

Wally Is New Pet Employee

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Wally Is New Pet Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business ethics, #criticism, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work ethic

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Boss: I"m looking for a new pet employee. The ideal candidate would be a brown-nosing tattler with no ethical core. Wally: That sounds like a brilliant idea, even though Dilbert says you are a moron. Boss: You got the job.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apple, #criticism, #employees, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #steve jobs, #work

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Boss: I've decided to be more like Steve Jobs. I want all of you to work day and night or else I will humiliate you in front of your peers. Dilbert: I quit. Alice: I quit. Boss: Would it work better if I wore a black shirt?

Bad Analogy Guy Fits In

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Bad Analogy Guy Fits In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #insults, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm

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Man: Hi. I'm the bad analogy guy. I can't tell the difference between thinking and simply being reminded of unrelated things. Wally: You'll fit in well here. Man: You dress like a liar.

Working From Home

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Working From Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #telecommute

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Dilbert: I'd like to work from home so I can be more productive. Boss: I can't manage you as easily when you're out of the office. Dilbert: That's why I'd be more productive. Boss: But you'd be missing out on all of this.

Poor Communication Skills

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Poor Communication Skills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #employees, #office, #office workers, #questions, #projects

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Man: Would you like to be on my project team? Dilbert: Hard pass. Your communication skills are so poor that the project is doomed to failure. Man: I meant to say your boss already assigned you to my project. Dilbert: We're off to a good start.

Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby

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Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #babies, #excuses, #misunderstanding, #office workers, #Parenting, #work, #adoption, #negligence

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Carol: How's it working out with the Elbonian baby you adopted? Wally: Great! Now I have lots of excuses for missing work, and I still look like a saint. Carol: What kind of daycare are you using? Wally: I just sprinkle cheerios on the floor and lock the door.

Can't Succeed Within The Rules

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Can't Succeed Within The Rules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #failure, #managers & supervisors, #rules, #success

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dilbert: if i follow all of our internal rules, my project will fail because of delays. and if i don't follow the rules, you will fire me. what should i do? boss: i like the option where the project is a success but you're a failure.