Long Debate Comic Strips - Page 12

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386 Results for Long Debate

View 111 - 120 results for long debate comic strips. Discover the best "Long Debate" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #ephermal middel manager, #look stupid, #business

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Boss: Say hello to the ephemeral middle manager. But hurry because he won't last long. Dilbert: Hi, I'm... Boss: Now you just look stupid.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #didn't read, #email, #improve communication, #long rambling email, #someone else, #meeting, #business

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The Boss: Did everyone read about how to improve our communication? Dilbert: Was it a long rambling email that stumbled from one barely coherent point to another? The Boss: That one must have been from someone else. Dilbert: Good because I didn't read it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angel, #fix things, #granted wishes, #know it all, #needy, #questions, #things gone wrong, #workers, #angel of competence

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Angel: I am the angel of competence. I have come to mark you as an engineer turn around, Dilbert: So, its like an honor? Angel: Sure, if that makes you feel better. The Boss: Can you show me how to set ups my wireless router at home? Tina: My phone keeps freezing up, can you look at it? Ted: How long should I barbecue trick-tip? Man: The pilot lightly on my water heater is out, How do you fix cracks in a driveway? what exactly does iCloud do? GAAA!!! Dilbert: I need to talk to the angel of competence have you seen him? Wally: He died in my cubicle, Thats all Im saying.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #depression (mental state), #work ethic, #underling, #long hours, #insane workload, #fatigue, #depression, #organ failure, #greetings, #how are you?, #psychology

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Boss: How's it going, underling? Dilbert: My long hours and insane workload are causing fatigue, depression, and organ failure. I'll probably be dead in a month. Boss: When did people stop saying "fine?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #angry, #hateful creature, #hope, #interviews, #job interview, #managers & supervisors, #monster, #optimisim, #smile, #toxic work place, #business

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Boss: You remind me of another young person I hired years ago. She was full of hope and optimism and she wore a permanent smile. Her name was Alice. As time passed, she devolved into an angry, hateful creature. No one knows what caused it. Interviewee: How long did it take? Boss: About a week. Interviewee: Apparently, you're a monster who creates a toxic workplace and you lack the self-awareness to realize it! Boss: Someone broke your record. Alice: Shut up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #meetings, #more assertive, #wishing death, #dial back, #shouting, #miserable

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Boss: Asok, I need to teach you to be more assertive in meetings. Asok: You're a miserable human being and I hope you die in a long, painful way! Boss: Dial it back a little. Asok: I hope you die quickly?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #wages, #ceo motivate, #feeling of engemnet, #long term goal, #engaement, #money

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Boss: Our CEO says I need to motivate you with a feeling of engagement, not higher pay. The long-term goal is to get you to pay us for the privilege of working here. I heard words I didn't know were words. CEO: Try giving her more engagement.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cublicle, #hours worked, #judgement, #long term projects, #near term deliverables, #negotiate, #output, #work ethic, #work from home, #holy grail

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Wally: I would like to be evaluated on my output, not the hours I work. Boss: Okay. That sounds reasonable. Wally: It does? Wow. And I'd also like to work at home where there are fewer distractions so I can be more productive. Boss: Okay. That makes sense. Wally: Really? I mean... great! I'd also like to work on long-term projects that have no near-term deliverables. Holy grail, holy grail, holy grail. Boss: Go back to your cubicle and don't leave until five o'clock. Wally: I was this close to retiring at full pay.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #honesty, #slide toward irrelevance, #redesign logo, #produce tablet computer, #ugly truth, #personified

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Man: There's nothing you can do about your company's long slide toward irrelevance. But if you redesign your logo and produce a tablet computer that no one buys, at least it will look like you're trying. CEO: Who are you? Man: I'm the ugly truth. Most people just ignore me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #executives, #wages, #long tern survival, #innovate ways, #cannibalize, #current prodcuts, #lose a fortune, #ceo's compensation, #revenue dips, #hovel, #some ideas, #money

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Dilbert: Our only hope for long-term survival is to innovate in ways that cannibalize our current products. The downside is that you'll lose a fortune in CEO compensation when our revenue dips in the short run. CEO: Thanks. I'll stop by your hovel later with some ideas for ruining your life, too.