Mean Comic Strips - Page 12

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333 Results for Mean

View 111 - 120 results for mean comic strips. Discover the best "Mean" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dont know, flashdrive, gadgets, hand, illness, where its been, data

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Coworker: I put the data on a Flash drive for you. Dilbert: Get that thing away from me. I don't know where it's been. Coworker: I hope you mean the Flash drive and not my hand. Dilbert: I did. But you raise a good point about the hand.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, thinking, creative person, bad at math, analytical skills, permanent

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Coworker: I like to think of myself as a creative person. Alice: And by that you mean you're bad at math and you don't have any analytical skills. Dilbert: Is it permanent?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anxiety, pessimism, approve goal, apathy, plan to fire, unimportant projects

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Ted: Did you approve my goals for next year? Boss: Yeah, whatever. Ted: Gaaa! Your apathy about my goals can only mean you to fire me within the next year! Catbert: Ha ha! Now give him unimportant projects. Boss: They all seem that way to me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, honesty, meetings, honest opinions, plan, hold back, feedback, monkey eats, fermented fruit

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Boss: I want your honest opinions on my plan. Don't hold back anything. Asok: Does he mean that? Wally: Why don't you find out? Asok: Yes, I have some feedback. Your plan reminds me of what happens when a monkey eats a fermented fruit. He's all - ooh - ooh - ooh and then he falls out of the tree. ... Is that how he looks when he hears honesty? Wally: Beats me. I've never tried it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, gadgets, 4g products, goodness, competetive, g stands for

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Ted: For competitive reasons, we've rebranded all of our 4G mobile products as 8G. Dilbert: I'm curious what the marketing department thinks the "G" stands for. Ted: Guess what doesn't mean "goodness."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honesty, writing, write, birds walk keyboard, Opinion, technical part, blabbing the ethernet

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Alice says, "Is this how you really write, or did birds walk on your keyboard?" Alice says, "I only need your opinion on the technical part of it." Alice says, "Okay, let's assume that your readers will know what you mean by 'blobbing on the ethernet.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags attend meeting, request, busy, meet halfway, not showing up, half of life

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wally, can you attend my meeting friday? wally: Im very busy, but I'll meet you half way, what does that mean in this context? wally: they say half of life is just showing up. so...you will be .... wally: Doing the other half.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elbonia, bribe, monkey god, oobanoobah, minister of mud, steal, office

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The Boss says, "We'll lose the Elbonian Project unless we give their minister of mud some? incentive." Wally says, "You mean a bribe?" The Boss says, "No. A bribe would be illegal." The Boss says, "Take a bag of gold to Elbonia and leave it by the statue of the monkey god, Oobanoobah." The Boss says, "If Oobanoobah does not accept your offering, by Elbonian law it becomes unclaimed property." The Boss says, "Take the gold to the unclaimed property desk at the ministry of mud." The Boss says, "Ring the bell and ask for the minister of mud. Give him the unclaimed property and a copy of our bid." Wally says, "What if the monkey god accepts the gold and I'm the only witness?" The Boss says, "What?" Wally says, "How much monkey god gold are we talking?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags preventer of information services, mordac, vampire, grumpy, crossed arms, upgrad computer, useful, non-standard, software, wordsmith, yell, point, engineering

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Mordac, the Preventer of Information Services Tina says, "My software is so old that I can't open any files that people send me." Mordac says, "I can't upgrade your computer because then it will be non-standard." Tina says, "And by non-standard, you mean useful?" Mordac says, "Be gone, wordsmith!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nose job, homeopathy, art department, annoyed, irrational, hurt feelings, scorpios, horoscope, astrologer, mean, insult, snout, dog nose

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Asok in the art department Man says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your botched nose job." Asok says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your irrational belief in things that have no scientific basis." Man says, "You sort of hurt my feelings there." Asok says, "Didn't your astrologer warn you about Scorpios?"