Mom Called Comic Strips - Page 12

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313 Results for Mom Called

View 111 - 120 results for mom called comic strips. Discover the best "Mom Called" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #eating, #customers, #angry, #business

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Wally says, "Thanks for coming on short notice. I called this meeting because?" Wally says, "?Company policy allows me to order donuts for any meeting that includes customers." Wally says, "I don't work on commission."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2009's comic on:


Tags #collections, #job, #customer service, #nervous, #busy, #confused, #business

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Dilbert works in collections Customer says, "My wife hates me and I live between and archery range and a nest of rabid badgers." Dilbert says, "Is that a reason for not paying your bills?" Customer says, "I'm just saying you called at as bad time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2009's comic on:


Tags #business, #stealing, #excuse

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Dilbert says, "It's slow at work so I created my own internet business called Dilbertfiles.com woman says, "So you're stealing company resources?" Dilbert says, "I call myself a CEO." woman says, "I think I saw someone who isn't a miscreant."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2009's comic on:


Tags #acting, #lesson, #humor

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Office acting coach man says, "This exercise is called 'the over-worked headcount' man says, "AYOWAAAIEEEOW!" man says, "Can you do that?" Dilbert says, "Are you kidding? I only stop doing it to be polite."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2009's comic on:


Tags #acting, #lesson, #occupation

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The Boss says, "We don't have enough money to fund your project, but I don't want to downsize you and shrink my empire." The Boss says, "I hired an acting coach to teach you how to hang around the office pretending to be useful." man says, "Are you dead or just non-expressive?" Dilbert says, "It's called a 'job'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2008's comic on:


Tags #blame, #costume, #meeting, #scapegoat, #senario set up, #luck, #business

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Dilbert the scapegoat The Boss says, "I need you for a meeting with my boss." The Boss says, "About five minutes, into the meeting I'm going to start punching you. With any luck, my boss will join in." Dilbert says, "Maybe that shouldn?t be called luck." The Boss says, "Okay...Skill. Whatever."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2008's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #bad idea, #saving & investment, #financial advisor, #diseased livestock, #sick cow, #aggregate, #math, #savvy, #education, #money

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Dogbert the financial adviser Dogbert: You should invest all of your money is diseased livestock. It would be unwise to invest in one sick cow, but if you aggregate a bunch of them together the risk goes away. It's called math. The boss: Suddenly I feel all savvy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2008's comic on:


Tags #apologize for efficiency, #apology, #how far, #meeting, #reasonable assumptions, #timeline for deployment, #vacation, #without knowledge of insight, #business

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The boss: Let's figure out a timeline for development. Dilbert: Ted is the only one who knows anything about that. And he's on vacation. The boss: Let's see how far we can get without Ted. Alice: You mean without knowledge or insight? The boss: We can make reasonable assumptions. Dilbert: Or we could wait for Ted to come back tomorrow and ask him.. The boss: I called this meeting and it's not a meeting until someone's time gets wasted! Dilbert: I apologize for my efficiency. The boss: Apology accepted.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2008's comic on:


Tags #purse at home, #pay you, #curse of competence, #fortune teller, #curse on first born, #crystal ball

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Dilbert's Mom says, "I seem to have left my purse at home. I won't be able to pay you." A fortune teller says, "I put the curse of competence on your firstborn son!" Dilbert's Mom says, "That doesn't sound so bad." Years Later A man says, "I need a little help." Dilbert says, "GAAA! Why always me?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #users want, #supply and emnad, #idiot, #managing, #work harder, #earn less money, #fire me, #obvious things

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The Boss says, "Find out what the users want before your build it." Dilbert says, "Why are you explaining my job to me as if I'm an idiot?" The Boss says, "It's called managing." The Boss says, "I assume you're dumb because you work harder than I do and earn less money." The Boss says, "And my boss would fire me if I just sat in my office and did nothing." The Boss says, "So I wander around and say obvious thing to you idiots until quitting time." The Boss says, "Then I go home and eat until my underpants don't fit." The Boss says, "Thanks for asking."