Necklace Computer Comic Strips - Page 12

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635 Results for Necklace Computer

View 111 - 120 results for necklace computer comic strips. Discover the best "Necklace Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #computer, #Advice, #fire, #pain, #angry, #unexpected, #technology

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Carol says, "Now what do I do?" Dilbert says ,"Click some buttons and see what happens. You can't hurt anything." Click Fzzeet! Dilbert says, "In my defense, that hardly ever happens."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #project, #pain, #ridicule, #investment, #computer, #technology

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Dilbert thinks, "I have invested all of my self-esteem in this powerpoint presentation." Dilbert thinks, "It is all that I am and all that I will be. It is a digital reckoning of my value." Alice says, "Did they catch the chimp who made your slides?" Dilbert says, "Ow. Ow. Ow."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excuses, #ridiculous, #explaining, #software, #reassurance, #angry, #annoyed, #lazy, #engineering

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Wally says, "My productivity software turned on me." Wally says, "It keeps crashing my computer. But that's okay because I don't need a computer to do my job." Wally says, "Do you have any assignments that are sort of pre-industrial?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #guilt, #excuse, #lie, #work, #avoiding, #acting

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Wally says, "The successful work - avoider combines a fake eagerness to help with just a hint of likely failure." Man says, "Wally, I need load calcs in an hour." Wally says, "No problem! Unless my computer keeps crashing like it did all morning." Man says, "I'll ask someone else." Wally says, "I am begging you to let me help!" Asok thinks, "Wow!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coworker, #thinking, #sitting, #computer, #depressed, #technology

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Dilbert thinks, "As usual, my coworkers have filled in every space on my outlook calendar." Dilbert says, "Now I am only a puppet hurdling toward failure." Man says, "Hey there, dailure puppet!" Dilbert thinks, "I hoped it wasn't so obvious."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #typing, #lazy, #idea, #trick, #deception, #managing, #stupidity

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Wally says, "I programmed my instant-messaging software to send random questions to our boss every hour." Wally says, "They're all yes or no questions so he'll have the illusion of managing me." Computer says, "Should I rotate the domain protocols so they wear out evenly?" The boss says, "Yes"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #newspaper, #scared, #praying, #stock broker, #sitting, #computer, #reading, #smiling, #technology, #Entertainment

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Carol says, "Your stockbroker is in the news today." The boss says, "Uh-oh." The boss says, "Please be because he won a humanitarian award?or he was killed by a celebrity." Carol says, "Ironically, several celebrity humanitarians do want to kill him now." The boss says, "Gaaaa!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #sitting, #asking, #money, #present, #punch, #violence, #pain, #flying, #technology

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Asok says, "I'm collecting money for our pointy-haired boss' birthday." Punch! The boss says, "How much did we get so far?" Asok says, "Well, nothing you could send by FedEx."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #financial, #trouble, #new computer, #executive suite, #no visitors, #vacant offcies, #financial troubles, #old computer, #vacant office, #technology

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The boss: We need your new computer for the empty office in the executive suite. We don't want any visitors to see vacant offices. They might think we're having financial troubles. Dilbert: Why don't we put my old computer in the vacant office? My boss: That's crazy talk.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #hacking, #illegal, #support, #technology, #diagnose computer problem, #remotely, #spam server, #snoop files, #pilfer bank act.

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Dogbert's tech support Dogbert: May I remotely take over your computer to diagnose the problem? Now hold while I snoop into your personal filed, pilfer your bank accounts and turn your computer into a spam server. Client: THAT'S ILLEGAL! Dogbert: So are 75% of your personal files, but you don't see me getting all huffy.