New Office Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Office

View 111 - 120 results for new office comic strips. Discover the best "New Office" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dating In The Age Of Coronavirus

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dating In The Age Of Coronavirus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags attractive, contract, covid-19, dating, eyes, goodnight, kiss, lawyers, mask, masked, negotiations, office workers, single, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

carol: it must be difficult to be single in the age of covid-19. dilbert: it's not too bad, actually. i'm in contract negotiations with a semi-attractive women i met online. with any luck, i will be enjoying a double-masked goodnight kiss by late next month. that assumes our lawyers don't make too many changes to the contract. carol: did you just say she is only semi-attractive? dilbert: i'm judging from the parts i can see. i don't know what's under the mask and shower cap she wears all day. carol: you must like her eyes. dilbert: i like the one i can see. the other one has a patch.

View more books now

Input From Idiots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Input From Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, sarcasm, technology, input, idiots, project, variety, dumb, informed, leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: per your orders, i got input on my project from a variety of people who are dumber and less informed than i am. as you might imagine, the net effect was to make everything worse. boss: are you done? dilbert: i just want to thank you for all the leadership.

Getting Opinions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Getting Opinions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, technology, input, dumb, human, universe, Opinion, strategy, worse

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: get ted's input before you finalize the plan. dilbert: ted is the dumbest human being in the known universe. his opinion can only make things worse. boss: that's how we do it here. dilbert: i didn't realize it was a strategy.

Wally The Generalist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally The Generalist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, sarcasm, technology, generalist, subject, matter, expert, help

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: wally, can you help me on this? wally: no, i'm more of a generalist than a subject matter expert. tina: what kind of work do generalists do? wally: you just saw it.

An Empty Offce

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
An Empty Offce - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags freedom, hygiene, office, office workers, telecommute

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The office is a beautiful place when everyone else is working from home. No distractions, private bathroom, and I no longer need to suppress my bodily noises. Brraaaap! Freedom!

Dilbert Doesn't Believe In Safety

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Doesn't Believe In Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, office workers, safety, sarcasm, team

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Ugh, Dilbert is on the project team? That guy doesn't believe in safety. Man: Just out of curiosity, what evidence of that extremely weird allegation have you seen? Tina: What evidence do you have that you exist? See? Anyone can do that.

Dogbert Teaches Safety

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Teaches Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, safety, training, simple, corporate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's corporate safety training. Don't touch anything, don't move around, and don't talk to anyone, ever! Thanks for coming. Dilbert: That's the whole class? Dogbert: Don't blame me for being good at summarizing.

Sarcastic About Safety

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sarcastic About Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, education, office workers, safety, sarcasm, training

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hear you were being sarcastic about safety. Obviously, you don't take safety seriously, so I have to send you to a safety re-education camp for a week. Dilbert: That will totally fix this problem. Boss: You just bought yourself an extra week.

Dilbert Cares Not For Safety

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Cares Not For Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, office workers, safety, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: ...And we can get that all installed in thirty days. Man: Why do you not care about safety? Dilbert: Literally everyone cares about safety. Man: Then why didn't you mention it? DIlbert: Blah, blah, safety. Happy? "Continued..."

Real Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Real Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags decision, office workers, sarcasm, dumb, facts

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: We need to make decisions based on real data! Dilbert: Who do you imagine disagrees with that obvious statement? Man: Uh-oh. I just realized I'm dumb and never knew it. Dilbert: I hear it can sneak up on you.