Odds Of Success Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

193 Results for Odds Of Success

View 111 - 120 results for odds of success comic strips. Discover the best "Odds Of Success" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #inventions, #dead end job, #developing an app, #spare time, #lottery ticket, #odds of success, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "It might look as if I'm in a dead-end job, but I'm developing an app in my spare time." Woman says, "Here's a lottery ticket. I just doubled your odds of success." Woman says, "I bought two for myself so I don't need to make an app."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #body language, #at odds with words, #endocrine system, #shutting down, #interrupted boss, #crazy, #psychotic episode

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "Am I interrupting anything important?" Asok says, "Oh no. I have seen this before. You are preparing to put your body language at odds with your words!" The Boss says, "I always have time for my least important employee." Asok says, "My endocrine system is shutting down!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #website, #revamp, #launch, #technology, #crash, #success, #failure

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "We launched our revamped website today." Dilbert says, "All of the technology we used is already obsolete and every vendor we hired is out of business." Dilbert says, "?And it just crashed." Dilbert says, "I miss the days when we had brief windows of success."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hunting trip, #elk, #skeptical, #missing, #story, #saddle

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "My hunting trip was a huge success. I bagged an elk." Carol says, "Hmmm?" Carol says, "That's not like you. There's something missing in this story." The Boss says, "It had a saddle." Carol says, "And there it is."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #empire consultant, #crown, #king, #attendance, #present, #luck, #bit rate, #lab coat, #raise hand

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the empire builder consultant Dogbert says, "Success is just attendance plus luck." Dogbert says, "You always want to be in the general vicinity when something good happens." Dilbert says, "Wow. I just doubled the bit rate." Boss says, "Present!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #death ray, #invention, #evil, #coffee maker, #disservice, #success, #garbage man

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My company wants to turn my invention into a death ray. How can I stop them from succeeding?" Garbage man says, "There is one natural force that can stop any form of success. It goes by the name?" Dilbert says, "Wally?" Wally says, "How may I be of disservice?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #report, #oil rigs, #explode, #medicine, #bacteria, #pharmaceuticals, #government, #share holder, #success, #lie

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I'm happy to report that none of our oil rigs exploded." The Boss says, "Our children's pharmaceuticals are not tainted with bacteria, and the government is not investigating our financial practices." The Boss says, "All we're doing is quietly losing share-holder value." CEO says, "I knew it would feel like success if we kept at it!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slug, #success, #energy, #fast, #fat, #stick paper, #slimy, #face, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My success depends on your doing your role in a timely and energetic manner." Dilbert says, "People say you're a big, fat slug, but I have confidence in you. I'll stick this to your slimy face and hope for the best." Dilbert says, "I like to think I'm a pretty good judge of character."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #definition of success, #slowing of failure, #rate of doing nothing, #improve, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "The company is happy to annouce that compaired to previous years, we improved our rate of revenue decline." The Boss says, "We've been doing great since we redefined success as a slowing of failure." The Boss says, "Moving on. Who has a status report?" Wally says, "I improved my rate of doing nothing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project manager, #gene pool, #kitchen, #losing, #foreboding, #anguish, #monitoring

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is Ellen, your new project manager." The Boss says, "If you do a bad job, Ellen will be on you like a ton of bricks." Boss says, "And if you do a good job, she will be threatened by your success and make it her mission to destroy you." Dilbert says, "Wait...what?" Dilbert says, "Did you just tell me I'm going to lose no matter what I do?" Ellen says, "If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen." Ellen says, "And by kitchen I mean the entire job market And the gene pool." "Dilbert says, "I have a bad feeling about this." Ellen says, "Your anguish nourishes me!"