Paper Comic Strips - Page 12
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347 Results for Paper
View 111 - 120 results for paper comic strips. Discover the best "Paper" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday March 07,
2001
Tags take this one, hige mistake, security reliability, xq-7
Transcript
Dilbert is talking to a vendor. Pointing to a sheet of paper, Dilbert says, "I'll take this one." The vendor says, "No, no, no. Huge mistake." The vendor says to Dilbert, "You need the security and reliability of the XQ-7." Dilbert says, "Okay, I'll take the XQ-7." The vendor says, "Shoot! I wish my company made that one."
Friday February 23,
2001
Tags sould, alice, manager, claim ticket, demoted, play sax
Transcript
A little cloud hovers near Alice and says, "Hello, Alice. I'm your soul." Alice looks alarmed as a hand reaches for the cloud. The cloud says, "You're a manager now; You won't be needing me." A man in a devil suit holds the cloud, hands Alice a small piece of paper and says to her, "Here's a claim ticket in case you get demoted or learn to play sax."
Sunday February 11,
2001
Tags nephew, job interview, bowling, heavy balls, work, experince, taught, snack bar, whacked, new boss
Transcript
The Boss hands a piece of paper to Dilbert and says, "My nephew wants a job. Interview him and tell me what you think." The Boss' nephew sits across from Dilbert as Dilbert looks at his resume. Dilbert says, "Let's see... Your work experience is... Bowling." Dilbert asks, "Are you a professional bowler?" The Boss' nephew replies, "I only bowled once." The Boss' nephew continues, "But the balls were heavy. It seemed like work to me." The Boss' nephew continues, "That experience taught me everything I know." The Boss' nephew continues, "Unfortunately, I don't remember most of it." The Boss' nephew continues, "But I remember you're not supposed to bowl in the snack bar." Dilbert says to The Boss, "I recommend having him whacked." The Boss replies, "He's your new boss."
Sunday January 28,
2001
Tags projects fail, have in common, points to boss, honest, sneezes, figuring the problem
Transcript
Alice, The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Asok the Intern are all sitting around a table. The Boss says, "We've got to figure out why all our projects fail." The Boss looks at Alice and asks, "What do all our projects have in common?" Behind The Boss' back, Wally points with both hands at The Boss. The Boss says to Wally, "It might not be obvious." Behind The Boss' back, Alice points with both hands at The Boss. Looking at Alice, The Boss says, "But if we're honest with ourselves..." Behind The Boss' back, Wally holds up a piece of paper with a large arrow on it pointing at The Boss. The Boss says, "We can find the source of the problem." Alice says, "Ah-ah-ah-" as she begins to sneeze. Wally scratches his head with a piece of paper to the sounds of "scratch scratch." Alice sneezes, "Ach-itz-you!!" The Boss says, "Gesundheit." The Boss asks, "So, does anyone know what the problem is?" Alice looks on as Wally says to The Boss, "I've noticed that Dilbert doesn't work as hard as I think he should."
Friday January 19,
2001
Tags exactly man, sell ten million, idea won't work, idea makes better
Transcript
THE "EXACTLY" MAN: Randy, looking at a piece of paper, says to Dilbert, "Your idea won't work. No one would buy this kind of product." Dilbert says, "We already sell ten million of these per year. My idea just makes them better." Randy exclaims, "Exactly!!" and Dilbert thinks, "?"
Sunday December 24,
2000
Tags birthday, mothers birthday, warp up present, an hour later, throwing towel, element of suprise, no waste paper, cookies
Transcript
In the kitchen, Dilbert says to his mother, "I've been thinking about your birthday, Mom." His mother says, "How sweet." Dilbert says to his mother, "It seems so inefficient to wrap up your present." As they carry milk and cookies out of the kitchen, Dilbert says to his mother, "You'll just rip up the wrapping paper an hour later." As his mother sets the cookies down, Dilbert says to her, "So I was thinking of throwing a towel over it instead." Dilbert says to his mother, "You'd get all of the element of surprise without wasting paper." Dilbert says to his mother, "Maybe I can use one of your towels so I don't have to lug one from my house." Dilbert's mom says, "Of course, dear. I wouldn't want you to lug a big heavy towel just for me." Dilbert reaches for a cookie and says, "Good. It's settled." His mother says to him, "Those aren't for you."
Saturday December 16,
2000
Tags questions, ever alone, with people
Transcript
Dilbert, pointing to a diagram, asks, "Are there any questions?" Three co-workers sit at a table looking stupefied. There is a paper airplane and a cup that's been knocked over spilling some liquid on the table. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Do you ever feel alone when you're with people?" Dogbert, reading and not looking up, says, "I try to."
Sunday November 26,
2000
Tags pet project, isn't feasible, working numebrs, underlying reality, massaged the numbers, working, numbers, impossiblepossible, new numbers, other ideas, fiddle with numbers
Transcript
Dilbert, putting a paper on The Boss' desk, says to The Boss, "My analysis shows that your pet project isn't feasible." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Try working the numbers." Dilbert says, "That wouldn't change the underlying reality." The Boss asks, "What if we massaged the numbers?" Dilbert says, "Massaging the numbers means the same thing as working the numbers." Dilbert says to The Boss, "You can't make the impossible possible by hallucinating new numbers." Dilbert asks The Boss, "Do you have any other ideas?" The Boss says to Dilbert, "That depends on the the phrase 'fiddle with the numbers' means."
Friday November 10,
2000
Tags feminist freak out, hin, hiney, tall the hun, behind back, harsh, slave driver, ruthless, alice
Transcript
The Boss, reaching for a paper that Alice is handing him, says, "Thanks, Hun." Alice exclaims, "Hon?!" Alice says to The Boss, "You sexist %!*%! I will burn your village and make slaves of your children!" The Boss says to Alice, "It's short for Attila the Hun. Everyone calls you that." Alice says, "That seems harsh."
Saturday October 28,
2000
Tags fired me yesterday, leaving previous job, non buisness, use of internet, crime dont pay
Transcript
The Boss, looking at a piece of paper, asks Dilbert, "And what's your reason for leaving your previous job?" Dilbert answers, "You fired me yesterday for non-business use of the internet." The Boss says, "Crime doesn't pay." Dilbert says, "Wait until you hear my minimum acceptable salary."


